Excerpt for Awakening by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

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By Shavon Smith (TRU)

Copyright 2017 Shavon Smith

Smashwords Edition

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Table of Contents

  1. Cover

  2. TOC

  3. Pot

  4. Message

  5. Long

  6. About

Pot Roast, a Blunt, and Some Homemade Gravy

    Rolling over in bed, I wasn’t sure if it was the alarm that woke me or you banging around in the kitchen.  Either way I dreaded getting up.  Once I could adjust my eyes to the sunlight streaming in from the windows, they focused on your chipper face and I marveled at how any human could be so happy so early in the morning.  But there you stood over me, eyes glowing with the cutest streak of pancake batter slashed across your cheek.  You told me to hurry up and get ready so I could “put something on my stomach” before I left for work.  I responded by pulling you back in bed with me and assuming the same position we fell asleep in, bodies entwined as if we were one.

    After arguing for 10 minutes trying to convince you to allow me just five more minutes of holding you, I gave up and headed for the bathroom to get ready.  When I emerged some forty minutes later my plate was waiting for me on the counter and you were spiraled across the couch puffing on a blunt watching Sex and the City.  You looked as inviting as ever so I ate fast knowing that if I didn’t leave soon, I never would.  I finished my food, put my plate in the sink and tried to get away with giving you a quick kiss before heading out the door.  You obviously had other plans because you planted a kiss on my lips that had me saying goodbye while already anticipating my return.

    Work was dreadful.  It was the end of the month and the pressure to hit my quota was mounting.  The thought of you at home and the life that I wanted to provide for you is what pushed me.  I grinded it out and by lunch I had reached my goal.  12 to 9 is a long day and I couldn’t wait to hear your voice.  You picked up and I spread the good news that our household had been blessed with yet another bonus.  That meant shopping and possibly a small getaway.  “Come straight home” was your response and immediately my bad day took a turn for the better.  I knew what that meant, you had something planned.  Nine o’clock couldn’t come fast enough and when it finally did arrive I was the first to hit the door, barely stopping to punch out.

    Images of you that teased and taunted me all day now had me acting just like Plies.  I was speeding in the fast lane anxious as hell to get back to you.  It took me all of ten minutes and I pulled up stressed and exhausted.  I had no idea what you had in store and honestly, I wouldn’t have cared if it was nothing at all.  Just having you in my arms would be enough.  My nose was assaulted by all sorts of delicious aromas the minute I stepped foot in the door.  You were in the bedroom laying my night clothes out on the bed.  You looked up and gave me the smile I had been waiting for all day.

    “Get your night clothes on and relax babe, I’ll take care of you”

    You didn’t have to tell me twice.  Before I could get completely changed you emerged again blunt in hand already lit.  Sitting down beside me, you passed it over and instructed me to tell you all about my day.  The higher we got the looser my lips became and out poured everything that had been going thru my mind.  You just listened patiently, responding only when necessary and ran your fingers through my hair in a way that always seemed to melt the stress right away.  The effects of the weed started to overpower my body and my stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten all day.  You must have heard it too because suddenly, my head was regrettably being removed from your lap and you were heading for the kitchen.


    Lying there in the dark I pulled you closer to me and held on for dear life.  I felt like I couldn’t get close enough so I tightened my grip until it was hard to tell where my body began and yours ended.  I was losing you and I knew it.  I’ve felt it for months but now the feeling was overwhelming causing me to bury my face in your hair and fight back tears.  There were so many things that I wanted to say to you but the words were stuck behind the enormous lump in my throat.  All I could manage to do was let out a strangled sigh in protest of my pain and pull you even closer.

    I’ve never been in a room that alive with such clarity.  Before when we would lay like this all you could feel was the love radiating off us and engulfing the room, leaving behind a sense of comfort and peace that was inviting to the soul.  Now laying there with you in my arms I felt powerless to stop the unseen force that seemed to be there with us, telling our hearts that our season was over.

    I wanted to rail against it but I’ve done enough living to know when that force is present it is best to just leave God to his plan and let him work.  Seasons end because they’re meant too, and no matter how much I may wish it so, it can’t stay summer forever.  But before the new day came and brought with it the reality of us going our separate ways I needed you to know something.


    The word echoed in the darkness and I felt your body tense in anticipation.


    “I love you.”

    I lay there praying that if nothing else, if you didn’t take away anything from our year’s together, you would carry those words because they without a doubt will outlast any season.

Long Days

    Falling asleep with a part of you missing is a lot like dreaming with a broken heart.  In both cases waking up to the reality of what you lost is always the hardest part.  It took everything in me to drag myself out of bed this morning.  God continues the world no matter who wakes up and who don’t, so I decided to just be thankful that he blessed me with another one and begin my day.  Change can be an extremely hard thing to deal with and I better not get started until after I’ve had my coffee.

    Throughout the day, I am surrounded by so many people yet I have never felt so alone.  I talk but no one seems to really be listening or they just simply don’t get me.  Either way, they won’t accept my mind’s challenge nor do they offer one in return and I am somehow uncomfortable with that.  With you one comment could spark a several hour-long conversations and by the end I was sure to have learned something.  My life has been blah with few bright spots since you’ve been gone.  Being routine when you were in it was different.  It was fun, I hardly ever got bored, and the course was always changing.  Now it feels like the world is a big gaping hole and I’m filling it up with the problems of others so that I can avoid having to face losing you.

    Time still passes but all movement seems to have stopped now that your presence isn’t here and that makes the days long and the nights even longer.  Work was exhausting.  I just sat there not working but extremely busy anyway because thoughts of you were flowing faster than my mind could keep up with.  I even got in the car on my lunch break and headed for your house as I normally would, like nothing had changed between us, like we still talked and saw each other every day.

    I went home to a lonely apartment and ate an even lonelier dinner.  Writing seemed an impossible task and I’m sure my lack of concentration had something to do with it.  I wasn’t focused and I only got a few things down on paper.  My words were being stubborn and they insisted on joining together to form sentences that consisted of no other subject matter except you.  After I realized that my mind would not allow me to write past you, I put the pen down and turned to everyone’s favorite life distraction, the TV.  But when I turned it on it was more of the same stuff.  Every show was either your favorite or ours together and every movie reminded me of the moment that we saw each one so I had to turn it off.

    Finally, after a failed desperate attempt to finish a novel that I had started months ago, I called it a night and headed for bed.  I wasn’t looking forward to my upcoming slumber.  Falling asleep with a part of you missing is a lot like dreaming with a broken heart.  In both cases waking up to the emptiness that carries over from the day before is always the hardest part.  Exhaustion forced my eyes closed and I fell asleep praying for no dreams.  After all, you’ve invaded my thoughts continuously and I needed a break.  So, I slept, snuggled against a pillow that wore your shirt, praying for another one, even though it’s been a long day.

About the Author

TRU is a screenwriter and author whose most experienced in writing prose and short stories. Her publications include a poetry book, Diary of a Teenage Mind, a collection of prose I Can Say Whatever I Want Volume 1 and 2, and TRUSHIT. Her upcoming project is her first documentary film, Moral Fabric, the Drug Epidemic. TRU is one of those people who always seems to be caught in the rain without an umbrella. She gets the most joy out of writing stories that reflect real life. She can be reached through her personal author page on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tru223/

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