Excerpt for Church Boys by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

Church Boys































Written by Ronnie









Prologue



I WAS RAISED IN THE CHURCH  FROM BIRTH TO 19


AND MY MOM AN DAD PUSHED ME TO GET INVOLVED IN SOOOO MUCH SHIT


AND THEY ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT BEING A CHURCH KID...I FIND A CHURCH GIRL....


BUT THEN I MET HIM.......AND NOTHING WAS EVER THE SAME


SOME THINGS HAPPENED ALONG THE WAY AND I THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT AGAIN LIKE GOD WANTED.....


BUT IN THE END MY HEART KNEW EXACTLY WHAT IT WANTED.......





Chapter 1: Everybody Knows Everybody

Columbia, South Carolina....March 2005


"Cmon Aaron, time to get up!" Said Pat, my mom 


When I was growing up, my life revolved around one thing....CHURCH! I mean like it was more than Sunday it was like almost everyday ugh. My mom was apart of the women's group, the soul winners, the Sunday school committee and a prayer warrior. And my dad was like the head deacon, speaker for Thursday night service, and also drives the church van. We were kinda like church hierarchy, we sat in the front row of the pew, many of the pastors knew us and we always hosted parties for our church friends, and in a black church that's very important! My mom was so into the lord like all she did was pray, read her bible before she went to work every day and don't make pork...ever!


"Now do you know the hymn you suppose to sing today in Sunday school we practiced?" Said Pat 


"Yeah I know mom,"


"Alright now, cause you didn't show up to the other two rehearsals!" 


"Well me and Felicia went to the movies and it was Star Wars!" 


"Look I know your gettin older but don't be so involved with the world that you ain't got no time for Jesus!" Said Pat 


"Yea mom I understand..."


"Y'all ready to go? Asked Gerald, my dad 


Dad he was kinda more tough to please, I know he loves me but sometimes I think he loves the church than us....he was trying to be a pastor himself and he knew almost everybody. Me and him don't get along a lot, which is why I don’t tell him my secret.....


We got in the car and the first thing I hear is the new Yolanda Adams or Kirk Franklin being played over an over on the radio, I wanna hear that new Mariah Carey, that was my shit! But my mom didn't like secular music played on Sunday so the whole day was all about gospel music.......whatever. So we get to the church and the parking lot is full, I mean the sanctuary is packed and the service is about to begin, since my dad is well known he got his own parking space. Then we go inside and we speak to everybody.....EVERYBODY! All the church mothers, deacons, some members of the choir, they all spoke to us, asking about the latest gossip, who had a baby, who died, who husband did what all that stuff, so while pastor was preaching the word, I was sitting in the teen ministry, and it was sorta like high school....


"Hey Aaron, you see that girl over there," said Brandon  


"The one in the pink skirt, that's miss Patti daughter,"


"Yeah but she cute tho, I think imma ask her out, when you gonna get a girl man? Brandon asked 


That was my thing, I liked boys from an early age and I knew I was....gay. But in the black church being anything other than straight wasn't a good thing at all, even though I knew at least 5 hoes in the back pew....but that was none of my business. There were so many cute guys in the teen ministry, Dashawn, Trent, Jai, And how could I forget the pastors son Jaylen goddamn he was sexy, tall and light skin (I like dark skin but he was an exception) and he had such a sexy set of teeth lol, pearly whites.......But I knew if any word I my homo feelings got out it would be shame on my family and they would definitely let me know it, so I kept my feeling like most boys in the black community do....on the DL, so when all these church mothers, aunties, gramps or whoever be askin if I got a girl I just nod or dodge the question, cause everybody in South Carolina was super duper homophobic! 


After service was over.....


In most churches after the pastor is done yapping for 5 years he asks…. “Are any new people in the church today?” That was my favorite part of the service cause that means church is over! My dad was with the other deacons in the front welcoming the newcomers, and my mom was hoping it was woman so she can coerce her into joining that old lady gang (women's group). I was expecting some middle aged woman or some ex drug addict or ex-con, that's usually who it was. But today was different......it was a family, and they had a mom, dad, a daughter.....and a fine ass son!!


"Everybody this this the Roberts family, y'all mind introducing ya selfs to our church family!" Said the preacher 


"Hi my name is Hank, and this is my wife Henrietta we been married for 16 years going strong....."


(Church audience claps) 


"Ha thanks, um this my baby girl Neima, even though she's 13 I still call her my baby, and this my boy right here, y'all this my eldest and only son Bryson he's 18 going on 19......


All I could do was stare at this sexy nigga! I mean he had the cutest smile and he had like all this hair, and his lips.....but I knew I was in the sanctuary and that I couldn't make it noticeable so I just watched....but he was so cute!! We finally get out the sanctuary and like most church folk my parents just kept talking and talking, but while I was sitting around, the list came back and I saw Bryson sitting down like literately a few seats away from me! So I decided to say hi I mean no harm in that.


"Hey, my name is Aaron," 


"Oh hey I'm Bryson,"


"You sitting here by yourself?"


"Well I don't really know anybody here, like you're the only person that like even bothered to talk to me," 


"So what you like to do?" I asked trying to play it straight while looking at his fine ass


"Well I like video games like GTA San Andreas, I like bow wow, Ciara, and whatever is hot,"


"I like Mariah Carey like I'm literally obsessed with her.....I'm so ashamed"


"I love her too and don't be you like what you like.....can I ask you a personal question?"


I kinda knew where this was headed, but before I could answer him, my parents FINALLY stopped talking and it was time to go....


"I'll see you around," 


"Yeah, see ya...."


When we were in the car, all I could think about was Bryson and what he wanted to ask me! When I hear straight guys ask me that I automatically know he gonna ask if I'm gay! I mean as sexy as he was could he be gay too...







Chapter 2: We Meet Again

Monday, April 2005


I was a senior at this preppy Christian school and I hated it so fuckin much! Everybody there was either a snob or a nerd or acted like they knew it all! But at least I made a couple friends, Erica was like my day one yesss! She didn't care if I was gay or not, and she wasn't a messy bitch either, and we always have fun! I was kinda jealous of her because her parents were so open and liberal and my folks were so.....ugh, but prom was coming up and I didn't have the slightest clue who I wanted to ask out......but I had to spill some tea.


"So gurl who you takin to prom?"


"I don't know I want to take Ashley I mean she cute, but you see all this bawdy chile I can snatch any bitch up in here...."


"WATCH YOUR MOUTH MISS DIXON!" Shouted one teachers who interrupted Erica, because the school has a no swearing policy...but Erica had a wild mouth tho 


"Ugh I hate this school, I'm so glad we graduating!" Erica


"I know.....ooooh he kinda cute!" 


I was looking at Ernest, HE WAS SO DAMN SEXY!! 


He was captain of the basketball team and he always wore this tank top which showed off his sexy ass body! But like most of the basketball team he was totally straight and I knew I couldn't approach him, but seeing him reminded me of Bryson...


"Chile Ernest is sooo cute!" Said Erica 


"I know, he makes me think nasty thoughts (laughter) but gurl I gotta tell you bout Bryson tho!"


"Ooooh who Bryson?" 


"Well I was at church yesterday and this new family came in, they had this fine ass son and his name Bryson he like dark skin and he got a lil beard goin on!" 


"You need to snatch him up!" Erica said 


"Yesss, hopefully but I don't know he looks straight, I don't wanna scare him away,"


"Look just get to know him more and you know how boys are they take longer to reveal their feelings,"


I gave what Erica said to thought and let things transcend naturally. When I got home after school I did my homework but after I was done, I got out this gay magazine from my closet I hid from my parents and I would look at all the hot gay boys, and I would think about having a boyfriend of my own! I been so confused about my sexuality forever, but since I turned 15 I was completely 100% gay!! I never told my parents about my sexuality because I knew how they were, I mean for loving Christians they talked so much shit about gays, and I just didn't want the homophobic tension. 


But while I was on the couch thinking about Bryson, I heard my mom come in the door, and she was happy as fuck!


"You're awfully happy," 


"Well It's just that I ran into miss Roberts today and we have so much in common, so she invited us to dinner Saturday at her house, and I really think you an Bryson would make good friends!!" 


And at that moment I felt that this was gon be a perfect to get close to that fine ass nigga!!


Saturday afternoon.....


It was the day or the cookout and I was kinda nervous about seeing Bryson again, but I hoped for the best. When we got to the Roberts house it was nice and big and then on the couch was Bryson cute ass!! 


"Hey Bryson!" I said all innocent 


"Aaron what's up," Bryson said in his sexy voice


"Is that a Nintendo?" 


"Yeah, you know I got more games in my room if you wanna see!" Said Bryson, as I saw a golden opportunity to get with this nigga!


"Sure....hey mom I'm gonna look at games in Bryson's room!"


"Go head baby, me and Henrietta got soooo much to talk about!"


"And while the women talk me and Gerald gon be on the grill!" Said Hank 


So I went to this Bryson's room, and he CLOSED THE DOOR!! I was in the room with boy! 


"Wow you got so many games!"


"Yeah I'm a gamer type, it's like my hobby, what you like to do?" 


"Well I like art, I sketch stuff, sometimes I paint, it's lame but yeah that's what I like," 


"Nah that's dope, you got talent,"


"I need to ask you something, you know when we first met last week and you wanted to ask me a personal question...."


"Oh that, yeah I was gonna ask but I didn't want to offend you....but do you like boys?" Bryson asked 


"Yeah I'm gay, and I hope you don't get offended but I have this big crush on you!" 


"Oh really, how about a lil date tomorrow after church?" Bryson asked 


"Okay, I can just tell my parents I'm hanging with friends,"


"They're homophobic huh?" Bryson asked


"Yeah, they want me involved in the church like the teen ministry and choir but I got tired of all that, like they don't know I like art....and they don't know I'm gay, but I really really like you tho," 


"I like you too, and I can keep a secret, you just seem like a cool person," said Bryson 


I COULDN'T FUCKIN BELIEVE IT, I WAS GOIN OUT WITH FINE ASS BRYSON!!! When we came out his room I had such a huge smile on my face, and even during dinner we all sat around this table and I even sat with Bryson! While my mom was saying prayer, Bryson looked at me and winked, which made me all kinds of excited!!! The dinner was over and it was time to go home to get ready for tomorrow, 


"Alright hunny I'll see you Sunday morning!" Said my mom 


"Yes we will all be there!" Said Henrietta 


"Bye Aaron, imma see you tomorrow if you know what I mean," said Bryson giving me a smirk as he gave me his number 


"Can't wait," I said with a huge smile on my face 


"Bryson seems like a nice young man," said my mom 


"Yeah he is, he gon be a church tomorrow!"  


As we were on our way home, all I could think about was Bryson's face kissing mine, and holding his hand, I was so smitten! I COULDN'T WAIT TILL TOMORROW







Chapter 3: More Than Friends…

That Sunday Morning.....


It was time for church, and the choir was singing the same long ass hour long songs, and the preacher.....the nigga was Nyquil on feet! I mean he was just so boring! But all I could think about was Bryson and our get together later on today, he said he was coming to get me after church like 5 or something, and I couldn't wait!! I showed Bryson around to the teen ministry, and while all the other teens were talkin to each other we sat in a secluded part of the building, and we got to know each other on a deeper level.....


"So do you like being in this church?" Bryson asked 


"It's a love hate relationship, I love God, but I hate some of these one sided church folk, like I know some of their kids and what they be doing!" 


"Wow, do you feel bad for being gay, like everybody around you telling you it's wrong and stuff, you goin to hell, like does it make you feel bad about it?" Bryson asked 


"Sometimes, I remember one time In fourth grade, I was with a Friend and he was like my buddy, I was walking down the street holding his hand one day, and my mom caught me and told me to stop hanging out with him.....she said he was "too close" to me and that it would influence me and bring upon this unholy homosexual spirit...that's when it started cause I kinda had a little crush on him," 


"Dang, that's messed up, I remember my first boy crush, it was during a sleepover and we was playing in a closet I don't know what we were doing, but he kissed me....on the lips, then we felt so....wrong, he told me he never wanted to see me again, and I really felt ashamed after that, but it's the way I feel I can't help it!!" Said Bryson 


"Well where exactly are you taking me out to? Inquiring minds wanna know...” 


"It's a surprise you'll see, but only two more hours in this boring place and we really gon have some fun," said Bryson 


I was looking at the clock, I was waiting for the service to be over and we could all go home...and so I can be with man! Finally another hour passed and church was over, but in the reception hall our parents were in there yapping and eating chicken, Bryson thought this would be the perfect time...


"Hey mom, can me and Aaron hang out for a while, please?" Bryson asked 


"Oh sure, y'all just be back before dark ya here!" Said Henrietta 


"Where y'all going?" Asked my mom 


"We just going to Richland Mall we won't be gone for long," said Bryson 


"Oh ok well you have boys have fun now!" Said my mom 


The mall was only like a couple blocks away from the church, but Bryson was standing in front of the church waiting for the bus,


"Where you goin the mall I this way," 


"We ain't goin to the mall!" 


"Where the fuck going then?" 


"Like I said it's a surprise just c’mon!" 


Then the bus came, the reception hall was behind the main church building so nobody saw us. I trusted that Bryson knew where he was going, I was so nervous, I was practically sweating, but then suddenly....THIS NIGGA HELD MY HAND!!


"Hey don't be so nervous, trust you'll love it!" 


Then the bus went to downtown, and there was a park which had all these tents, we got off across the street and as we walked over there I saw all these artists and painters, it was amazing! 


"Omg an art festival, thank you!!!" I shouted as I hugged him 


"You welcome, I knew you like it!" Said Bryson, then for a few seconds we looked into each other's eyes and I felt this passion like never before! But just when I thought we was about to kiss......this bitch kinda interrupts our moment!


"Hi would you guys like me to draw you guys together...it's only $20!"


"Sure," I said all happy 


Then me and Bryson sat together, and he wrapped his arm around me, and I just leaned a lil closer to him, I didn't know what was happening but I liked it a lot, he smelled so fuckin good!!! And the fact he had his arm around me, just made it like Romantic!!


When the lady was done she showed it to us, and it was fuckin amazing, we really looked like a couple! After we walked thru the art festival for a while we got some snow cones and then this nigga held my hand while we were walking! I was on cloud 9 at this point and he made me forget about everything! I didn't know how this started but.....I really don't want it to end! It was getting kinda late, and Bryson took me home, we were standing out in front of the house, (his house was literally like 3 blocks away) and before I went inside....


"I really had a good time with you, I wanna see you again." Said Bryson 


"Me too, we can hang again like Friday night or something," 


"We can't let nobody else know about this tho,"


"I know, I know, but I feel it!!" I said 


"I feel it too!" Said Bryson, then the nigga kissed me on the cheek!!! OMG I WAS SO HAPPY! 


"Wow I never been kissed before!" I said all excited 


"Yeah I just think you're an amazing person..."


"WILL YOU BE MY PROM DATE?" I just asked out of the bloom 


"I never been to prom before, but yeah I'll love to go with you!"


Then me and Bryson looked into each other's eyes for a couple minutes, we was smiling hard as fuck lol! But then he left and I watched him walk, I noticed he had lil booty goin on! When I got inside my parents were in the other room so I used that opportunity to hide the pic of me and Bryson, then I came out like shit didn't happen!


"Hey son, when you get in?" My dad asked 


"Not too long ago, I really had a good time, me an Bryson really turning out to be good friends!"


"That's good, I bet you saw a lot of girls too, by the way have you asked a girl out to prom?" 


"No not yet," I lied, because I already got somebody.......BRYSON!!







Chapter 4: We Became One

May 2005.....A WEEK BEFORE PROM


Me and Bryson have been goin out for almost 2 months, and it was the best 2 months of my fuckin life! We went to movies, we went to the park, and I just bought my own car so we went to Myrtle Beach for a day....all this without our families knowing! When we be in the church we act like we just friends, and try to not look even a bit of gay, cause we know church folk love to talk shit. One day my parents were gone somewhere and since they was perfectly comfortable with Bryson they didn't mind him in the house.....or in my room! Anyways I was showing Bryson my sketch book and all my art and stuff, 


"Damn babe, you're dope, especially that one with super man!" He said complementing me


"Aww thanks, lemme show you something else I been doing,"


I was flipping thru the pages of my book when I felt Bryson put his arm around me...and I felt so good inside, it really put me in a good mood! There were many times I wanted to kiss him like in his mouth and feel that tongue of his yessss....but for now I just wanted to take things slow, but it was no doubt we both felt ready...


"You don't know how bad I really wanna make love to you..." said Bryson 


"I know, but babe let's wait a bit it's only been 2 months plus I never had a boyfriend before so give me some time…please." I said 


"Ok I just love you so much, these past 2 months were the best of my life," said Bryson


"I love you too, what you wearing to prom?"


"Well I was thinking I would wear like a tux, you know something classy," 


"I already got my suit!" I said as I showed him my white suit 


"I can't wait for prom night...." said Bryson we both looked into the mirror so damn happy


Prom night.....


I came down the steps in my white suit, I felt so fly!! My mom was all over the place just cryin an emotional like goddamn it ain't all that! I told my parents I was going by myself, Bryson said he was gonna meet me at the place (since his school just so happens to be hosting a prom not far from the venue). Now I know it's kinda risky, we don't know whose gon snitch or who got diarrhea of the mouth...because I want to keep this low key, but I don't care what happens nothin will stop me from loving him!!


"Ooooh don't you look cute....ugh my baby's going to prom (crying)!" My mom being all hysterical 


"Pat calm down now, the boy is just going to prom he ain't getting Married!" Said my dad


"Well I don't wanna be late!" I said trying to get to my car 


"So you goin by yourself son?" 


"Yeah dad but it's no biggie," 


"All those girls in school you couldn't find one?" 


"I don't know, look I got to go bye y'all!" 


Ugh I was so glad to get away from them, wishing I could be so open with them but I didn't have much time to worry, cause I only had like 30 or so minutes to get to prom! When I got to the ballroom I was kinda nervous, like I never danced with anybody before let alone another boy, but then I saw Bryson in his suit and he was just so sexy!


"Damn you look good babe!" I said 


"You look good too, I mean damn I'm lucky!" Said Bryson 




As we went into the ballroom we saw my girl Erica and her date, Jada, we got some looks from others because we looked like a bunch of friends but we just gay couples...because Christian schools really didn't like gays so we knew we had to keep it on the low!


"Hey gurl!!" 


"Hey boo and.....who is this best friend?"  Erica asked all interested 


"Wassup I'm Bryson, I'm his date!" 


"Oooop.....oooop...OOOOP bestie he cute!!" 


"I know he is, we been going out for 2 months now...."


"ALRIGHT EVERYBODY ITS TIME TO GRAB THAT SPECIAL SOMEBODY IT’S TIME FOR THAT SLOW JAM!"


Then we all got up, they was playing one of my favorite songs by Monica an Usher, then Bryson grabbed my waist and brung me closer to him, I felt his body on mine, damn it felt good.....at that moment I didn't think about who'll find out or what happens next, I was in in the arms of this fine ass nigga!


"I love you so much......" Bryson said softly 


"I....I love you too," I said in a shaky voice 


Then suddenly it happened, WE FINALLY KISS....LIKE IN THE MOUTHS!!! We both felt it like I swore that kiss lasted like 3 minutes but his lips were so good I wouldn't let go!!


After prom was over we both went to my car, and then Bryson looked into my eyes, and we had another kiss, goddamn his lips felt good....but It didn't stop there, he kissed my neck.....all I could think was DAMN DAMN DAMN!! Then he put his hand on my thighs as he was reaching closer to me, I knew after those kisses it was goin down....


"I want you so bad...." Bryson said as he ripped off his shirt SHOWIN A BAWWDY after that I couldn't resist 


"I want you too Daddy....." I said as I started pulling off my clothes! At this point we both hard and ready, Bryson was putting it down!! I mean after some sloppy tongue kisses I lifted my legs to roof, now mind you my car is a Camry so it ain't that big, but we didn't give a fuck! I managed to roll my seat down low enough to lie on my back and let Bryson smash my backs! I had some lotion in car as lube as at first it kinda hurt but then after a few thrust I was in heaven!!!! AND WHEN HE TALKED ALL NASTY, SMACKING MY ASS WHILE HE WENT FASTER I WAS MOANING AND GRABBING THE SEAT CAUSE BRYSON WAS SO DAMN ROUGH! After that he cums an pulls out, but I'm kinda paralyzed from him goin balls deep like I was breathing so hard like I ran a damn track!! THEN HE PROCEEDS TO EAT MY ASS AND AGAIN SMACKS IT WHILE BURYING HIS FACE.....OH GOD I WAS BLESSED THAT NIGHT!!




We sat in the car for like 15 minutes, the car was kinda stuffy cause of the sweat and the smell of me and Bryson....that's the smell of love! 


"That was fuckin amazing, my ass feels kinda numb," I said 


"You're so tight, like damn, but you was delicious!" Bryson said with his happy ass 


"You're such a freak.....but at least we finally made love babe!" 


"Yeah, and damn it’s like 1:45 in the mornin!" 


"OH SHIT I GOTTA GET HOME!" I jumped up an said cause I knew my parents might be getting suspicious 


Me an Bryson put our clothes on, trying to make it look like nothing happened, some cum got on my pants so I wiped it off as good as I could, then after I dropped Bryson off at his house I went back home and my parents were waiting for me...


"Son it's almost 2: am what happened?" Asked my dad 


"Well it kinda went a lil longer than I thought and then there was like a lil after party sorry I forgot to call!" I lied like a muthafucka 


"Alright well at least you had a good time with ya friends, but next time call!" My dad said 


"Okay imma get ready for bed goodnight!" I said as I slithered into my room


I knew I couldn't keep this relationship hidden forever, but tonight was so amazing, I NEVER had sex before let alone with another boy! But it felt sooo good, but deep down I just know something bout to happen.....and I'm gonna have to deal with it.



Chapter 5: Secret Is Out

Graduation Day - June 2005


I finally got my diploma and I was Able to leave this stupid school, I had a 3.5 gpa so I was kind of a smart ass lol and to celebrate my big achievement my the church decided to have this cookout type of celebration at the reception hall, and my dad boasted about me when the preacher called all the graduates up to the podium! It was me, Shanice, Brandon, and, Detravious and of course my boo thang Bryson!! I hated this church so much....like almost everyone here was fake and phony, but I didn't care cause today was the beginning of my future, and hopefully Bryson will be in it. We all went to the reception hall and had some food, of course my mom and Bryson's mom were crying like babies cause we was about to branch out and be grown, and these annoying old ass church folk kept badgering me about college girls like who gives a fuck!


"So you gon date them college girls huh?" Asked old ass deacon George 


"Yeah I can't wait!" I said tryna act straight as I can 


"Well you know son it's a different world than high school, them girls a lil wild ya know I what I mean." 


"I bet I'll find out.....hey dad imma go get some cake!" I said as I slithered away from these straight folk, I was gonna get some of this yummy ass cake, when I saw Bryson getting some cake too....


"Hey baby!" Bryson said 


"Hey, this cake looks good huh," 


"It ain't like yours tho, now that was good!" Bryson said referring to our hot car sex after prom 


"Baby you had me weak, when can we...do it again?" I asked, feenin for that sex 


"I need to talk to you bout something can we sit on the bench outside." 


This sounded kinda serious, so we both took our cake and went outside to the bench, I thought we were gonna break up or some shit I mean I was very nervous! But Bryson told me this news that he was gonna join the army, and that he leaves in a month or so for basic training....I was crushed!


"So you're leaving me?" I asked 


"Well kinda but babe just know I'll never ever forget about you!" Bryson said 


"What about that sex we had, babe I wanna do that again, an again, I just want you!" I was raising my voice 


"Look baby don't trip, it's in Virginia you can come visit me!" 


"I can, so this won't be the end of us?" I asked all emotional 


"Nah, there'll never be an end to this....baby we belong together, don't you know that! I love you so so much it's gonna hurt not seeing you!" Bryson said as he was gettin emotional 


"Awww I love you so much too.....you know ain't nobody out here, can I have a kiss...."




Then Bryson gave me such a good ass kiss, damn......DAMN, I practically had my legs wrapped around, then we both laid on the table just caught up in our love, kissing endlessly!But then suddenly our parents just so happened to come outside and you can only guess what happened next....


"BRYSON WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!" 


"MOM!"


"AARON!!" 


"Um.....it's not what it looks like mom...." 


Later on that day was like being in hell! My parents were so upset more than ever! They sat me down and we had like this super tense moment, I basically revealed everything about me and Bryson, how we met and everything...


"So he's your boyfriend?" Asked my mom


".....Yeah," I said depressingly 


"Did you guys......have sex?" My mom asked me nervously 


"Yes.....after prom" I revealed 


After that my mom put her head in shame, she then started crying like it was sooooo dramatic! I tried to go over to comfort her but she pushed me away! My dad looked at me in disgust, as an upcoming pastor he couldn't have a gay son that would be bad for his lil image or whatever, so later on he took me back to the church, we were the only ones there, and as went inside the sanctuary he made me get on my knees and he put this oil on my forehead and started praying hard as hell! He was crying I was crying, I felt mega bad about the love me an Bryson had and I felt so ashamed, my parents made me feel like a fuckin pervert!! 


"LORD OH LORD, GET THIS UNCLEAN SPIRIT OUT OF MY CHILD, OH LORD IT GOT A HOLD OF HIM RELEASE IT......RELEASE IT NOW LORD!!!!" My dad was just so damn extra  


Two days later.....


My dad told me to come to the living room, I didn't know if he was goin to do another kamikaze prayer or what, but as I sat down in the living room they really looked at me like they had something planned for me.....


"What's going on?" 


"Son, we know you can’t shake this....this homosexual spirit all by yourself, which is why you are going to Orange Grove," 


"LOOK YALL DONT UNDERSTAND, I LOVE BRYSON, I LOVE HIM, I DONT NEED FIXING I JUST WANNA SEE HIM!" I protested 


"Son you are not right.......you're not right, how can you lay with another man with a smile on your face DONT YOU KNOW WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS!!"  My mom started getting emotional again


"Trust us this is for your own good...."


Orange Grove was like this super uppity school in North Carolina with crosses on the lawn! It was like some San Quentin shit like all the girls dressed like the damn 1950s and church was mandatory.....EVERY MORNING! Aside from what I heard I didn't know what to expect but I really didn't have a choice, it was nonrefundable and I really wanted to make my parents love me, and I was willing to anything to get them to love me again even if it meant being "straight" again.......big fuckin mistake!















Chapter 6: Being Something I Wasn’t

Orange Grove University, August 2005


It was a rough summer, I mean it was so much tension, and my parents doing everything they could to make me straight, I really missed Bryson at this point, but he was In the army somewhere an was pretty much gone now! I still loved Bryson with all my heart....and that's something my parents would never understand! But today was the day I moved in to this dorm at the school, it really felt like a fuckin prison I mean we couldn't cuss or anything, girls wore skirts down to the knees! And of course the most important one.....we had to go to chapel every morning and it just like church back at home just more boring! My parents pretty much forced me to go to this place so I guess I make the best of it....


When I went to lunch at the cafeteria I sat usually by myself, I called my friend Erica back home and boy was it a relief to hear her voice...


"Hey Aaronnnnnnn!" 


"Hey gurl how you been?"


"Well I'm a freshman at UNC and chile these girls fine as shit, like imma be busy.......how you been!"


"Not so good, my parents found out about me an Bryson and I haven't talked to him since, and gurl they really were angry like everything was goin good till they caught us kissin!"


"Omg why they so mad Bryson makes you happy tho!"


"I KNOW, but they went all crazy TRYNA pray the gay out of me and signing me up for this uppity Christian school like gurl.....I wish I can run away and be with Bryson but he told me he joined the army so....I feel so ashamed!


"BABY DONT BE ASHAMED OF WHO YOU ARE YOURE GAY AINT NOTHIN WRONG WITH THAT FUCK WHAT YOURE PARENTS THINK GOD KNOWS YOU GAY...AN OBVIOUSLY HE STILL CARES!!" 


"Thanks gurl, maybe me an Bryson will get back together because I really do miss him...."


After I talked to Erica I was sitting at the table by myself and then I overheard these other boys talkin, they were talkin all this shit about gays and how they were going to hell, I felt so uncomfortable and it brought back flashbacks about my dad trying to pray the gay out of me and how my parents basically made me feel like shit just because I was in love with Bryson.....so I left the cafeteria with a few tears in my eyes back to my dorm. When I got to my room I just was wallowing in my shame, then I thought about it god would really let me into heaven, being that I already fucked Bryson and let him eat and smash my booty! Later on that day I went to chapel and I really didn't want to but something inside me thought it was a good idea.....


"Aaron what are you doing here, chapel is closed." Said minister Clarence 


"I need to talk to you...it's important." 


"What's the issue young man?" 


"You see I'm gay.....and I want to go into heaven but I already had sex...with another guy an stuff, will God forgive me?"


"You can beat this perversion, and you came to the right place, there is no full proof way to get rid of homosexuality but with a little prayer every day and ignoring those desires as best as you can you can find deliverance!" Minister said 


Then I took those words into context and after his advice I started to think....what was wrong with me? All those lessons in Sunday school and surrounded by the church environment like I knew what I felt....but it felt so wrong, I don't know I mean I knew Bryson really loved me but he's gone now, his parents probably came down his throat too just like mine! But deep down I still wanted to be with him no matter how much I tried to resist...


A month later......


I been at this boujee school for a bit now and slowly I was working on myself. I focused more on my drawings, even tho I was in school for a BA. I loved art, that was one of the electives I had no issues with, every day during lunch I sit by myself and just doodle away in my notebook, when one day this girl from art class came an sat next to me.....


"Hey Aaron," 


"Hey Joslyn, what you doin here?"


"I saw you by yourself and I thought I give you some company!" 


"Thanks, but I'm alright!" 


"What you drawing it looks amazing?" 


"It's a hero I made I don't know exactly what I should call him tho," 


"You know I got my own sketch book in my place.....


I was trying to focus on my art but damn.....this girl was kinda thick and perfect shape, I don't know what was going thru my head but I think this how straight boys act. Joslyn took me to her dorm and showed me all her paintings and stuff like she was a serious artist!


"Damn you got skills!"


"Thanks, I just love art you know, it's so freeing and I can just be in my own world!" 


"Yeah I know....hey I didn't know you had superman comics!


"Yeah just a little collection but nothing over the top you know!"


"I'm kinda want a latte you want one too?" I asked 


"Ooooh yeah I can sure use one!" 


And at that point I didn't know it but......I think I just asked this girl out! So me and Joslyn went to the school coffee stand and got lattes and basically just talked for like 2 hours, I was connecting so much with this gurl, and I was actually enjoying her company! After that lil date I took her back to her dorm room and we said goodbye. I asked her if we could do this lil "latte date" again, and she said yes, and for the first time since all the drama with Bryson, I actually thought I was over him and STRAIGHT just like folks wanted me to be! But no matter how hard I try, Bryson was still on my mind, and maybe we might run into each other again who knows...maybe it was just a phase......













Chapter 7: Switching Sides

January 10th, 2007


Me an Joslyn been seeing each other for like almost a year pretty much! She was so cool and we have everything in common, our art is what brought us together, and I started to really feel something for her! Sometimes I think about Bryson but as I get more and more in touch with Joslyn and grow closer......I actually think I'm straight again!! Maybe my parents were right, and when I went to chapel with Joslyn we sit with each other and it just like being in church again! After chapel we was about to head back to class when Minister Clarence came up to me...


"Aaron, can I speak to you for a minute,"


"Yeah Minister?" 


"I see you been delivered, no more homosexual lust or desires?" He asked 


"No I really think God changed me! Like I have a girlfriend pretty much now!" 


"Well I see the lord has saved you from a trip to hell, well you take care....and you two look wonderful together," said the minister as he walked away 


I was actually enjoying this straight thing....kinda, but when I hear like Mariah Carey I get like super gay boy again lol, but I'm trying to refrain from acting to so flamboyant, because Im now "delivered" and I kinda wanna stay that way......kinda.


Later on in the day I was in my dorm getting ready for another date with Joslyn and I was kinda finishing a sketch I was doing, when suddenly my parents called.....I was hesitant to answer them at first after that homophobic fiasco and putting me into this boring ass school! But now that imma changed man I thought maybe they should know about me and Joslyn.


"Hey mom hey dad!"


"Hey Aaron how you liking the new school?" Mom asked 


"Well I kinda have a surprise for you guys, but I'm coming home for the weekend I'll show you guys then!"


"Son what's going on, is anything I should be concerned about," asked dad 


"Nah nah look just trust me you'll like it!" 


Then after I hung up the phone I found a couple pics of me an Joslyn I put in my wallet, I was gonna take them with me when I see my family again.


Saturday Morning.....


After much thought I decided to go back to Columbia and see my parents, I even promised to go to church with them! When I got there mom greeted me and dad hugged me, we sat down on the couch and I just told them....


"Things are going good at school, listen I know last year you guys didn't like my.....gay relationship with Bryson but some things have changed.....in delivered!" I jumped up and said 


"What do you mean Aaron?" Dad asked 


"Look.....this is Joslyn, my um.....girlfriend!" 


"Oh Aaron, she's pretty!" Mom said beaming with joy 


"Yeah we met in art class, she's pretty, she means a lot to me..."


"Well son, I'm glad you going on the right path, because you don't want to be caught in an unnatural spirit, you know what I mean son!" Dad lectured 


"Yeah dad I understand," 


"Well tomorrow I want us all to go to church!" Mom said 


I didn't know what to feel, going back to my old church where me an Bryson started our relationship, it was kinda bittersweet cause I wouldn't see him again..


Sunday morning....


It was time to back to church, and I was sitting in the sanctuary with my parents. All the nosey ass, old ass, hypocritical ass church folk came and tried to get into my business! I showed all them Joslyn, one bitch even asked about marrying her!! Like no we just dating it ain't serious like that! Then across the way I saw Bryson's mom she was all by herself in the middle pew, so after the preacher was done I went over to talk to her....


"Hey miss Roberts...." 


"What do you want...?” Henrietta asked kinda meanly 


"I just wanted to say hi, I thought.....


"You thought what....you think imma forget seeing you kiss all on my son!" She protested 


"Look I'm sorry, but I'm straight now pretty much, look at my girlfriend....what ever happened to Bryson?" 


"He joined the army, we didn't talk for a bit but he's getting over it.....let's hope it stays that way!" Said Henrietta 


Seeing the mean look in her eyes was just made me relive the shameful feeling all over again! Like at this point I just wanted to get away from here, an get on with my life.....later on that night I said goodbye to my folks, they liked Joslyn a lot and now mom talkin bout marriage....bitch slow ya rolls! On the drive back I turned on the radio to have something to listen to and low an behold it was "Hurts The Most" by Monica.....man just hearing those lyrics I began to think about me an Bryson, I tried to get it out my mind but those times he held my hand, the car sex, his smile.....GODDAMN I MISS HIM SOO MUCH!!!


When I came back to my dorm, I kinda had tears in my eyes, I lost the REAL love of my life! I thought being with Joslyn and being straight is what God wanted....but maybe he knows that deep down I LOVE BRYSON!!!

I was still awake so I decided to work on some graphics on my laptop, when I checked my phone....it had a voicemail, and I got the best news of my life!!


"Hi this is Mindy from Covertoons Creations we saw your portfolio and we would love to discuss an opportunity of Creative Partner for our firm in New York....call us back, bye!" 


"OH MY GAWWWWWWD......OMG OMG OMG I GOTTA CALL THESE FOLKS BACK THIS COULD BE MY BIG BREAK......HELLO, yeah I got your message.....nah it's okay I'm usually up this late....yeah I'm very interested I'll take it.....nah NYC ain't no problem....good I'll see you Tuesday....thank you so much bye!!" 


And after that good news I was running up and down, like a crazy ass child, then I almost forgot To call Joslyn.....cause that's my girlfriend...I called her and I knew it was kinda late but it was big news! She told me that she had a huge event coming up at her church and she couldn't make it, but she said she'll support me all the way!!


Tuesday January 14th, 2007....


I WAS IN NEW YORK FUCKIN CITY!!! I got a lil hotel in Queens cause lord knows I can't afford no fancy Manhattan lodge! I went to see the folks that called me, they were working on this huge project.....superstar rapper Ja Rule wanted to make his own cartoon basically, and I showed them my designs and then they went to a board room meeting, at first I was nervous as hell but then they came out all smiles!!


"Aaron...we are pleased to welcome you to the Covertoons team!!" Said Mindy 


I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN SHE SAID THAT OMG!! WHEN I GOT OUT I DECIDED TO GO TO MANHATTAN AT ONE OF THOSE OLD SCHOOL DINERS JUST CELEBRATE WITH A BIG JUCIY BURGER AND FRIES!!! I called Joslyn and told her all the good fuckin news!


"OMG BABE CONGRATS!! THIS IS SOOOOO HUGE LIKE OH MY GOD.....JA RULE.....I WISH I WAS UP THERE TO CELEBRATE WITH U!!" 


"It's okay.....listen imma go to Central Park I always wanted to go there!!


I was so excited, I had the biggest smile on my face!! I didn't tell my parents yet because they really don't care for art....I was happy as a jay bird I didn't look where I goin till I bumped into somebody.......


"Oh.....I'm so sorry bro!"


"Nah its alrigh.......Aaron!


"Bryson.........!"







Chapter 8: The One I Really Love

I couldn't believe it......Bryson was standing right in front of me! I missed him soooo much, at first I thought I forgot about him and I wasn't gay no more...but seeing him instantly brought back those memories! 


"How you been?" He asked in that deep voice that I missed 


"Wow...um a lot has happened, you wanna go for a lil walk?"


Then Bryson left the waitress a tip, and we walked out the diner....TOGETHER! We were basically walkin up and down 4th avenue and time just flew by!! I see this man kinda changed in a year, he grew a lil beard (which was very sexy) he got a new haircut, and he gotta lil thick too....lord he had a really nice ass! But I told him everything that happened...


"Man life been crazy....I joined the army like I said, my parents were pissed because of us being together so we didn't talk for a bit but they slowly forgiving me, I was stationed at a base on Long Island and after I was discharged they paid for my construction certificate and now I'm workin here in the big apple!" 


"Damn I'm happy for you! Well after we split my folks were determined to get the gay outta me so they sent me to this like Christian college and then I met this girl named Joslyn....we been seeing each other for like 7 months or so..."


"Do you like her?" Bryson asked 


"Well I thought I was straight again, but.........Bryson I missed you, you had no idea how much it killed me inside when you were gone, I...."


"Aaron, do you still love me?" Bryson asked as he came closer to me 


"Yes.....yes I do, I never really stopped!" 


AND THEN IN THAT MOMEMT WE SHARED A LONG OVERDUE KISS....AND AT THAT MOMENT I FORGOT WHO JOSLYN EVEN WAS! DAMN THAT KISS FELT SOOOO GOOD WE BOTH DIDN'T EVEN WANNA STOP.....but that's how much I missed him!


"Baby, we can we back to yo place?" I asked him softly


"Ain't even gotta ask......"


Then we both looked into each other's eyes and smiled!! He took me to his temporary apartment in Brooklyn and he took me to his room.....this nigga dimmed the lights, took off my shirt an started kissing my neck, his lips felt so good and he knew how to kiss!! Then pushed me on the bed and then he got on top and ripped off his shirt....HOLY FUCK...BEING IN THAT ARMY BUFFED HIM UP GODDAMN HE WAS SO BUILT!! 




Then he took my hand and put it on his chest....I felt his abs....IT MADE ME SO WEAK! Suddenly he rips my pants off, uplifts my legs and then pressed his chocolate body on top of mine kissing all on me! 


"You ready for it....,"


"Yes daddy....."


Then Bryson buried his face into my booty and his tongue action was just......I was grabbing sheets, it was like prom night allover again!! After he got me super stimulated He then got this cream, rubbed on his hard dick and then a lil on my backdoor.....and I felt him as he went inside, giving it a couple strokes and then HARDER AND FASTER, KISSIN ON ME WHILE HE WAS POUNDING....I WAS MOANING HARD AS FUCK!! HE HAD SUCH GOOD DICK!! I FELT LIKE THIS WOULD GO ON ALL NIGHT.....


It was morning and the aftermath of our hot sex! Bryson was makin breakfast for me while I slept in the bed, I woke up to see him cookin ooooh he looked so sexy, all shirtless and chocolate! 


"Good morning baby!" He said 


"Good morning babe, my sexy ass nigga! 


"How you feelin?"


"Like a train just ran thru me.....a really nice big train!"


"Yeah last night was amazing as fuck I'm still kinda feelin it!" He said as we both kissed


"Well I wanted to tell you yesterday but....we got occupied....um you know how I told you I like art and stuff, well this like cartoon company called me, BABY YOU LOOKIN AT A CREATIVE PARTNER FOR COVERTOONS!!"


"Oh shit baby this is great, where is it?"


"That's another thing, it's here in New York, so I was thinking now that we back together we can live together...cuz Bryson, baby I wanna be with you!" 


"I want you too, let's do it let's move in together, so I can run that train thru you over an over!!" 


This was like a dream come true, me an Bryson were finally back together! I knew I couldn't be straight, I can't stop loving this nigga! But there was one issue.....before I go any further I had move away from Orange Grove and Joslyn. I don't know how I'll break the news to her but she has to know! 


Saturday January 18th, 2007.....


After a couple days reuniting with Bryson....and more sex, we decided it was time to get my things from the college and move into Bryson's place, so we drove down to North Carolina and as I went into my dorm with Bryson, Joslyn saw me.....and she was upset.


"What happened to you! You left for 4 days and don't even call....who is she!" 


"Look I can explain, first I got the job and I'm moving to New York, but there isn't a "she"....this is Bryson....my boyfriend!"


Then Joslyn suddenly ran away to like this corner, I knew she wouldn’t take it well but I had to tell her! So I found her on this bench crying,


"Why, why did you this to me I thought we had something!" She wailed 


"I know, but I didn't tell you but before you me and Bryson were together and then our parents found out and we split apart, I thought when I met you I was straight again but....."


"You still love him don't you?"


"I never really stopped."


"Does he make you happy?"


"Hell yeah, I’m very happy, I didn't mean to lead you on like this but I'm gay, and I love that man with everything in me!" 


"If you're truly happy, then I can't stand in the way, I don't understand it but I can see that you really love him and by the look on your face I bet he puts it down!" 


"Yesss!" 


"I'm sorry Aaron," 


Then me and Joslyn like hugged it out, she cried a lil bit but at least she understands....after I got my stuff me and Bryson went back to OUR home and we felt like a real couple! All this time I waited for this moment, and my heart finally found a place where it belonged....with this man! But our parents who split us up to begin with didn't know, so me and Bryson decided not to tell them.....at least not now but when we feel ready.


March 9th, 2007


Bryson and me have been living together for a few months, and my career was taking off, I really was in a good place on my life! But then Bryson knew the lease the apartment was almost up and his 22nd birthday was coming up so I decided since we was both bringing in some good ass money that for his birthday we get somethin real nice.....A HOUSE! Now New York ain't the most affordable place, and we kind got tired of the city so Bryson drove me out to this lil town called Coram like it was near East Hampton that's how far it was! 


"Are we almost there yet?" I asked 


"Babe calm down the map says the house should be right up this street!"


Then Bryson turned down this street and came up to this cute lil house...It was $274,000 and in New York that was a fuckin bargain! We looked around and decided at that moment it was the perfect house! 


"Baby let's get this house! With our jobs we can afford it!" I said happily 


"Yeah it's great, but it's just one more thing that'll make it all perfect...."


"What?"


THEN SUDDENLY BRYSON GOT ON ONE KNEE AND TOOK OUT THIS HUGE! RING!!!!!


"BRYSON!!"


"Aaron, I love you so much, when we met in church I knew you were special! I want to share my life with you, we can't move into this house unless you be my husband........so right here right now....will you marry me?" 


"YESSSSSSSSS I LOVE YOU YESSSS! I yelled out so loud 


Then Bryson put the ring on my finger, and we both sealed it with such a long kiss! I CANT BELIVE THE BOY WHO I MET IN CHURCH 2 YEARS AGO WAS GONNA BE MY HUSBAND!!!









Chapter 9: Ten Years Later…..

March 25th, 2017


OMG TIME REALLY FLEW BY!! Me an Bryson have been officially married for 10 years. We got married on the coast of Cape Cod, and our honeymoon was just amazing, I was GETTIN DICK ON THE DAILY, and I was looking forward to our life, I saw it like a lifelong sleepover with my best friend an lover!!!  Every year we gotten better and better, Bryson had his construction job and he was a joint partner with some big developer in NYC, and then lil ol me....After that big break at Covertoons I was Partner permanently and I helped make cartoons for PBS,  which was a huge accomplishment! There were some bumps in the road tho, difficult things happened such as Bryson's parents both split up back in 09, and then I had a lil health scare when I found out I had Chrons Disease.....I had to get a surgery and be on tough medications but Bryson was there thru everything! I took every moment we had as something special, like every anniversary we travel some place exotic like Peru, Egypt or Paris, and we even thought about having kids thru a surrogate but with our busy lives we decided to get like 2 Siberian huskies and a pet hamster lol, THOSE WERE OUR KIDS! And how can I forget our house....the same place Bryson proposed to me and where we cuddle every winter around the fireplace, invited Erica from the old school days (she actually had a longtime girlfriend) an we got to connect and we kept in touch ever since...things were going good one day until Bryson recommended we do something that was very hard but had to be done.....go back down south and tell our parents about our relationship!


"Babe I know you aren't really keen on doin this but we been hiding it the best we can, it's time to let them know!" Said Bryson


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