Excerpt for Gladen Falls: The Series (Pilot) by , available in its entirety at Smashwords













“GLADEN FALLS”

By Edwin Betancourt















Bronx, NY, 10467

EJB326@gmail.com

Character Summaries (Only those in Pilot Episode)

  • Elizabeth Glitters- Late 20’s-Early 30’s. She is headstrong, goal oriented, caring, sassy and quick witted. She is a former Child Star turned fashion designer. Elizabeth focuses her time on making sure her ex-husband stays far away as possible, she hides her private life from the public and only those close to her knows the things that take place behind closed doors. She spends the rest of her free time with her best friends catching up on their lives as well. Many people see her as being a sweet girl, but she has a secret dark side that comes out when someone threatens her or the ones she love. Lives in Apartment 4A.



  • Elias Solis- 26 years old. Latino. He is an openly Gay Six Time Emmy Award winning actor that has been starring in a soap opera titled ‘Open Heart’. He is comical, honest, sarcastic, witty and a bit flamboyant. He is very creative but tends to doubt himself due to his past. Lives in Apartment 4C.



  • Valerie Blake- 42 years young. Sassy, witty and sharp tongued. Valerie is a successful Advice Columnist for her own column titled ‘Ask Val’. Although she is in her forties, she is very in touch with her sexuality and uses it to get what she wants. Her insults are seen as compliments due to her demeaning nature. She believes men are pawns, designed by God to be used and not for her to love or show affections to- which might ultimately become her undoing. Lives in Apartment 4B.



  • Lindsay Kaine- Late 20’s- Early 30’s. British. Smart, cunning, manipulative, sassy and brutality honest. Lindsay is a publicist at a top NYC firm and she is at the top of her game. She is Elizabeth’s best friend since childhood. While she is constantly seen as the ‘Dumb Blonde’, she starts to grow into a more independent woman that will do anything to get she wants. Lives in Apartment 4D.



  • Ami- Late 40’s-Late 50’s. Asian Decent. She is the building’s ‘No Nonsense’ Superintendent and hates everyone that lives on the fourth floor.



  • Riot- Late 20’s- Late 30’s. Riot is Elias’ roommate. He is a singer in a local Punk Rock band with a few secrets of his own. He is naïve and seems quite blank due to his constant use of marijuana. It’s unclear whether this is his authentic self or just an act, because he’s hiding something.



  • Derick Dean- Early 30’s. He is Elizabeth’s soon to be ex-husband. He’s a former teen heartthrob from the 90’s that blames Elizabeth for his inability to become something more than a 90’s actor. He is currently trying to relaunch his career.



  • Mark- Late 20’s. He is Elias’ former costar and ex boyfriend.



  • Charlie- Mid 30’s. Valerie’s boss and the son of the Editor of the NYC Tribune.



  • Greggory- Late 40’s. He is the Homophobic new head writer of ‘Open Heart’.



  • Margot- 40’s. She is very whimsical and eccentric. She is also Elias’ agent.



  • Burt Douglas- Mid 30’s- Early 40’s. He is tall and rich. He is the top lawyer in NYC with a few secrets of his own.



  • Daphne- 42 years old. A conceited woman that sees Valerie as a mortal enemy.

















“GLADEN FALLS [PILOT]”

By Edwin Betancourt















FAde In:

Episode 1- “TOXICITY/PILOT”

Start of Teaser

INT-STAIRWELL OF A BUILDING NAMED ‘GLADEN FALLS’ LOCATED IN NYC- NIGHT



Toxicity(N)- The quality of being toxic or poisonous.”­ APPEARS ON THE SCREEN.



We open up to meet AMI walking up the stairs slowly as she holds a black shirt in her right hand. The loud stomping of her feet would wake even the dead. She is heading up to the Fourth Floor, somewhere she really did not want to go, as she was angrily mumbling to herself.





ELIZABETH (VOICE OVER)

Spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés, crushes and one-night stands have something in common; they all come and go. The last one literally…comes and goes, but who are the people that remain in our lives forever?

Some will say family and that is correct, assuming you have blood relatives, ofcourse. However, if you are like me, then the only source of family are your best friends. And in my case, they also happen to be my neighbors, named Elias, Valerie and Lindsay.

It might sound corny to you, but these people are my family…In addition, family is forever.





AMI approaches an apartment door; apartment number is not visible to the viewers.





AMI

(knocking) Hello? I think you left your shirt in the drier again! I warned you and your inbred friends that if this happens again I will donate it to charity, or in your case burn it.





AMI knocks on the door again. There was no answer, just silence. She was seconds away from knocking once again when she notices a small trail of blood leading down the hallway. She decides to follow the trail and it leads to another apartment door, which was opened ajar—again the number is not visible to the viewers.



ELIZABETH (V.O.)

We are like a pack of wolves. You mess with one of us, then you are messing with all of us and that is something you don’t want to do. That is the definition of a True Family. But just like family-





AMI slowly opens the door and a figure runs out of the apartment knocking her to the ground. The figure runs down the hall and runs downstairs going off-screen.



AMI sits up rubbing the back of her head and she looks inside of the apartment and lets out a blood-curdling scream at what was inside.



We enter the apartment and see a dead body, the identity of the body is not shown to the viewers only their bloodied lifeless hand.







ELIZABETH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

-We are not immune to tragedy.











FADE OUT.

END OF TEASER



































ACT 1



FADE IN:



INT- IN A CAFÉ RESTAURANT LOCATED IN NYC- NIGHT

[’ONE DAY EARLIER’ Appears on the screen].



ELIZABETH GLITTERS is seen walking into the café. She wasn’t too thrilled to arrive there but she puts on a smile just in case any of her fans recognized her.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

In life we are expected to treat others how we would like to be treated. And I have been a firm believer in that. But how the hell do you treat someone who has done you wrong? Who has hurt you with every breath they have taken?







ELIZABETH looks around and sees DERICK DEAN seated at a table. He waves at her smiling as he holds a bouquet of red roses in his right hand.







ELIZABETH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

Better yet, how do you treat someone you really, really despise?







DERICK smiles as ELIZABETH walks over to him and he stands up opening his arms to hug her, but she ignores him and sits down unzipping her jacket and DERICK sits down nervously.







DERICK

I-I..um got you a bouquet of red roses, because red is your favorite color. (he gives her the bouquet)





ELIZABETH

(glares at the bouquet and slowly nods) That is true, but I am also highly allergic to them.







DERICK gasps and he shakes his head completely embarrassed by his stupidity. He hands the bouquet over to a couple seated at the nearest table and he sits down across from ELIZABETH.







elizabeth (cont’d)

(sighs rolling her eyes) So why did you call me down here? (looks around the café and turns to Derick) In a café that no one will recognize us in.





DERICK

Is it uncommon for old friends to meet up?





ELIZABETH

(laughs) Old friends? Is that what the youngsters are calling a couple who are divorcing?





DERICK

Actually that’s the real reason I called you down here…I kinda need you to…call off the divorce.





ELIZABETH lets out a gasp in disbelief and glares at him.





FADE OUT.



























SCENE 2

FADE IN:

INT- APARTMENT 4C- MEANWHILE





We enter a clean apartment where we meet ELIAS SOLIS currently seated on his sofa reading a bunch of scripts on his coffee table. He looked tired, frustrated and distracted.



There is a knock on the apartment door and ELIAS gets up letting out a sigh of frustration, he walks over to the door and opens it.



Standing in the doorway is AMI holding a yellow thong in her right hand.







AMI

Elias! There you are! Did you leave this in the drier downstairs? (she shows him the underwear)





ELIAS

(looks at the thong in both disgust and disbelief) In what Alternate Universe would you see me wear something as atrocious as that?





AMI

(shrugs) I don’t know. You Gays are always wearing thongs and Speedos while humping inflatable objects. I don’t know why you do the things you do!





ELIAS

(glares at her) Stereotypes? Really?





AMI

I call ‘em like I see ‘em, Snowflake!(beat) Why you still living here? You are Emmy Award winning actor; shouldn’t you be in mansion somewhere in West Village or SoHo?





Elias

And miss seeing your beautiful face daily? (beat) Besides, I don’t hear you complaining every time it’s the end of the month and rent is due.





AMI

(shrugging) I’m just saying. I can sell your apartment for a hefty price, especially when people find out you used to live here.





ELIAS

Well I can tell you right now, ’50 and Unwed’, that isn’t mine nor will it ever be mine. Now if you can excuse me, one of us has to memorize lines for his show and the other one has got to go.



ELIAS closes the door, turns around and heads back over to the coffee table.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

Elias Solis has been my G.B.F for eight years now. G.B.F stands for ‘Gay Best Friend’, every girl needs one nowadays. Not to help with their styling-which he hates to do and me being a stylist myself it would be useless to style the professional. But every girl needs one to give them stability in life.

Girls will tell you, you look beautiful if you wear an ugly skirt, because they want to make sure they look better than you, and with a Gay Best Friend they are brutally honest and tell it how it is. Well, at least Elias does.







RIOT walks out of his bedroom shirtless and only wearing skinny black jeans. In both of his hands are black shirts hanging from their respective hanger.







RIOT

Suck It Slow, has a gig at midnight tonight. It’s our first gig since Rocke puked all over the crowd. (beat) Which shirt do you think screams, ‘I’m Punk, but I’m only pretending I’m Goth to get your money?’





ELIAS sits down on the sofa and looks at the shirts RIOT was holding.





ELIAS

(lowers his eyebrows) Um…they’re both the same shirt.





RIOT

(looks at the shirts and he laughs to himself shaking his head) Damn! I really am losing it. (He looks at Elias’ scripts on the table) Is that the episode where-



ELIAS

-Where my character is killed off? Yep. (he sighs) Apparently, my character falls down an elevator shaft. Which is ironic since none of the buildings on the show have elevators!





riot

(shakes his head in disbelief) I’m so sorry you’re going through something like this, man. For what it’s worth you are an amazing actor and the writer is a huge Dick, to let you go.





ELIAS

(smiles) Are you saying that as a friend or as a roommate who is secretly scared because he might have to move out if I don’t get another acting gig?





RIOT

(pauses and smiles out of embarrassment) To be honest, it’s more along the line of both. But the band has been getting a whole lot of gigs since that video of our song ‘Republicans Give Birth To Vampire Babies and Democrats Eat Them’ went viral last year. (beat) If by chance we are evicted, we can live on the road and you can join us as our manager. We need someone with OCD and not to mention, someone in the band has a crush on you. I can’t tell you who it is, but their name rhymes with ‘Flingo’.





ELIAS

(taken aback) You mean Dingo?





RIOT nods his head with a wide smile on his face.





ELIAS (cont’d)

Dingo has no personality and he rarely talks. The last time he was here, I thought he was a freaking ghost haunting the apartment because he just sat in the corner watching me.





RIOT

Yeah, that’s because he was flirting with you.





ELIAS

He didn’t say a word!





RIOT

That’s because he flirts with his eyes.





ELIAS

(pauses) Go get dressed.





RIOT shrugs and he exits the living room and walks back into his bedroom closing the door behind him. We look back as ELIAS refocuses on the scripts on his table and continues to once again read them.











ELIAS sits back down on the sofa and smiles as he continues reading the scripts.



FADE OUT.









Scene 3

FADE IN:

INT-APARTMENT 4B- MEANWHILE



We enter the apartment and meet VALERIE BLAKE in her bedroom, wearing a matching bra and panty set. She is on her laptop typing at a quick pace.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

This is Valerie Blake. She’s an advice columnist for the New York City Tribune. Which is kind of ironic since she can give the best advice on the planet, yet she can never take her own.





VALERIE continues to type as a cellphone-located on the foot of her bed rings.





VALERIE

(not taking her eyes off of her laptop) Burt! Your phone is ringing!







BURT DOUGLAS walks out of the bathroom wearing just a towel around his toned waist. He lets out a frustrated sigh and grabs the phone quickly answering it. He places the phone on his right ear.





BURT

(on the phone) Hey Sunshine!...Yeah I know. Unfortunately I had a last minute client come in and she was very much in need of my services…You know I can’t tell you that babe. But trust me I’m almost done, she just has to fill out a few paperwork and I’ll be home in no time…Great! Sounds delicious I can’t wait…Okay see you soon…Love you too.







BURT hangs up the phone and he puts it on the dresser next to him. He watches as VALERIE continues typing and he leans in to kiss her left cheek, but VALERIE quickly grabs his face and glares at him.





VALERIE

(looking at him) What did we agree on in the contract I created for this little rendezvous?





BURT

(stares into her eyes; breathlessly) That I should never kiss you.





VALERIE

(nods) And what else did we agree on that should never happen?





BURT

Um…(pondering)…to…um.





VALERIE

(gently squeezes his cheeks) We agreed to never, ever have your wife call you when you are on my time!





VALERIE releases her grip on BURT’s face.







BURT

(smirks caressing his face) Don’t forget that I’m the man in this bedroom.





VALERIE

And? (she smirks placing the laptop next to her on the bed) Last time I checked, you were the one that was tied to the bedpost screaming my name out. So as far as I’m concerned, your whole machismo act is useless. (beat) Save it for the courtroom.





The doorbell rings and it’s followed by a few knocks on the door.



BURT nervously looks around the room as if he was caught red handed. VALERIE gave him a smirk and rose up from the bed.







BURT

(nervously) Shit! That could be-





VALERIE

Relax. It isn’t her. I have servers installed in this particular room that blocks out any transmissions of a tracer bug.





BURT

(in a calming tone; lowers his eyebrows in confusion) Are you seeing other guys behind my back?





VALERIE

(grabs a pink silk robe from the door knob and she puts it over her body) I’m an Advice Columnist with three Pulitzer Awards and many enemies. I can’t have some nerd trying to hack my computer and steal important information. (beat)(smiles) Besides, you and I both know, your ass is the best ass in New York City. Now get dressed before your ‘Sunshine’ hires a Private Investigator.





VALERIE gives him a wink and softly spanks his rear. BURT lets out a playing moan and she walks out of the room.

He makes her way over to the door and looks through the peek hole.





VALERIE (CONT’D)

(sighs) Oh Good God.





She unlocks the door and opens it. Standing in the doorway is AMI holding a yellow thong in her hand.



AMI

I’m going around the entire fourth floor because this is the ‘Devil’s Playground’ and I’m trying to find who is the filthy person that owns this…this Sin Catcher!





AMI waves the thong in VALERIE’s face.





valerie

(crosses her arms across her chest and stares at the thong in disgust) Did you finally get the last bit of Dementia or whatever your people go through at your age?





AMI

Is this your thong? I know whores like you wear these.





VALERIE

(glares at the thong) If this was mine, why would it be in your possession?





AMI

(frantically) It was left in the dryer! Now is this yours, you dirty, dirty, dirty girl?





VALERIE

Dirty girl? (smirks) Oooh, I like it when you talk dirty to me.





AMI

(shakes her head) Is this yours or not?





Valerie

No it isn’t. Everyone in this building and in life, knows I don’t wear thongs or let alone underwear when I’m out. Now is there anything else you have to say, Shrimp?





AMI

(gasps) I am the Superintendent of this building! (angrily lowers her voice so no one in the hall can hear her) I can have you evicted for disrespecting me.





VALERIE

You can certainly try. Then when that happens, I’ll be more than happy to let the Housing Executives know about the rat infestation we had last year, in which I had to use my own money to hire Pest control. Then I’ll also be happy to mention, your mentally unstable and unemployed son is living in the apartment that you’re supposed to live in.





AMI

(shaking her head in disgust and regret) You’re such a bitch!





Valerie

Damn right! And don’t you ever forget that.





AMI rolls her eyes and she walks down the hallway and descends the stairs going offscreen.



VALERIE watches as RIOT exits apartment 4C.





Valerie

Hey Hot Topic, is Elias home?



RIOT

(rolls his eyes) It’s Riot and yes he is.





RIOT walks down the hall and goes off screen.



VALERIE closes her apartment door, walks over to APARTMENT 4C and opens the door slowly.





VALERIE

Knock, knock. Hope you’re decent.





ELIAS looks up from the scripts and smiles tiredly at her.

ELIAS

I’m very decent.





VALERIE smiles and enters the apartment closing the door behind her. She walks over to him and sits next to him on the sofa.





VALERIE

(looking at the scripts) So, that’s the script?





ELIAS

(nods slowly)Yep. Delivered to me an hour ago and from what I read, Emmanuel falls down an elevator shaft and dies.





Valerie

An elevator shaft? Are the writers lacking originality?





ELIAS

You can say that.





VALERIE

(leans back on the sofa) Why the hell are they killing you off? Do they know you’re the reason NBZ Studios still has their lights on?





ELIAS

Sadly they don’t care. Greggory, is the new head writer and he is also a Conservative Christian, who believes he can come on in and try to make every LGBT character magically heterosexual. It’s pathetic.





VALERIE

(shaking her head) What the hell is wrong with these writers trying to shove their Heterosexual lifestyle down our throats?





ELIAS shrugs and he stops reading the scripts and rubs his forehead. He was tired, stressed and anxious all at once and it was starting to show.





VaLERIE (CONT’D)

(sitting up on the sofa) So what are you going to do once you finish filming this episode?





ELIAS

I have a meeting with my Agent this Friday. She heard back from the Superhero film I auditioned for two weeks ago, and all I can do at this point is pray that it all works out to my advantage.





Valerie

What they’re doing to you isn’t right. Can’t you sue them? I mean they’re basically firing you because you’re Gay.





ELIAS

I can certainly try, but it would be pointless. If I even bring any legal action against them, they’ll basically label me, ‘Difficult to work with’. I mean they even hired a freaking Publicist to claim I was fired from the show due to “creative differences”. Basically I’m like Shannen Doherty on ‘Charmed’. Except this time, the audience will actually see my character die. (beat) But I’m not mad. I believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t know what that reason is yet, but I’m sure something good will come from this.





VALERIE smiles. She gets up and hugs ELIAS tightly.





VALERIE

Honey, why does your roommate smell like a walking corpse?





ELIAS

That’s his new cologne.





VALERIE

What is it called?





ELIAS

(pauses) ‘The Walking Corpse’.





ELIAS & VALERIE laugh and pull away from the hug.







CUTS TO:

SCENE 4

INT-CAFÉ- MEANWHILE



ELIZABETH shakes her head trying her hardest not to laugh at the obscene suggestion DERICK just gave her.





ELIZABETH

Are you stupid or dumb? No, wait! Don’t answer that, I think we both know what you are.



ELIZABETH chuckles to herself and picks up the glass of wine and takes a small sip.





DERICK

Look, I know how crazy it sounds but I’m up for this huge audition and I cannot have this divorce staining my name.





ELIZABETH

(nods and places the glass back on the table) Strange, how you don’t want the divorce to ruin your image, yet if you truly cared about your image- or let alone me; there wouldn’t be a divorce to worry about.





DERICK

I’m not trying to make this difficult. If anything, I’m doing you a huge favor.



ELIZABETH

Are you really? Please Derick, enlighten me, how in the Blue Moon Hell, are you making any of this easier for me?





DERICK

(looks around the café and lowers his voice) Well for starters, I want nothing from this divorce. You and I both know I am entitled to a lot.-





Elizabeth

And if you dare to try and claim what’s not yours, I’ll be more than happy to tell the judge the real reason you and I are divorcing. That would definitely stain your little image.







DERICK slams his fists on the table causing everyone in the café to look at him as if he was crazy.



ELIZABETH grabs the wine glass and takes another sip completely unbothered by DERICK’s outburst.





DERICK

(clears his throat and speaks calmly) You don’t know how hard it is for me to get out of your shadow.





ELIZABETH

(laughs placing the wine glass back on the table) My shadow? Are you serious?





DERICK

(nods slowly) When you and I began dating I was Derick Dean, Teen Heartthrob and you were Elizabeth Glitters, a former child star turned Designer. We were Hollywood royalty.





ELIZABETH

I am well aware out of our past, but let’s not take a trip down memory lane. It will not end well for either of us.





DERICK

My point is, I can’t have my name damaged because of this divorce. You know how vamp this industry is. Leaks tend to happen.





ELIZABETH

Which is why I made all three of my lawyers sign non-disclosure forms. But rest assured, you and I are getting divorced.



DERICK

(shakes his head) This is bullshit.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

We carefully choose who our friends are based on personalities, chemistry and trust. I am glad to announce that I found that in my friends: Valerie, Elias and Lindsay.





DERICK

My Publicist said you might act this way.





ELIZABETH

Well remind me to send him a basket of Edibles for being correct.





DERICK

(lowers his eyebrows) Him? Oh no. My Publicist isn’t a man.





ELIZABETH opens her mouth to speak but she is interrupted when LINDSAY KAINE walks over to them breathlessly.





LINDSAY

I am so sorry I’m late. The stupid protestors were running amok on Fifth Avenue again.





LINDSAY smiles and sits down next to DERICK.

ELIZABETH watches angrily as LINDSAY kisses DERICK on his lips softly.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

Meet Lindsay Kaine…My bestfriend since kindergarten.

FADE OUT.

















































































ACT 2

FADE IN

INT-OFFICE OF THE NEW YORK CITY TRIBUNE- NEXT DAY (MORNING)





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

After the unnecessary meeting with Derick and Lindsay, I decided to go home and sleep the night away. I’m off for a week so I saw no point in needing to wake up early.

I mean a part of me is still mad that my best friend for years, is doing business with my ex-husband; both with his image and then with his penis.

While I’m trying to hold my rage in, I have a feeling this morning isn’t going to go well for anyone else.





We enter the office of VALERIE BLAKE to find her seated on her chair and reading emails on her computer. She was dressed in a beautiful business dress and her hair was placed in a bun on her head.



There is a soft knock on the door and VALERIE looks at the doorway to see CHARLIE standing there with a small smile on his face.





VALERIE

(smiles) Hey you! What are you doing here? Last I heard, paternity leave is for three weeks. (pauses) Please tell me you didn’t leave Susie alone with the baby because you got bored of it.





CHARLIE

(smiles shaking his head) No no. I-I mean I did leave them alone but it’s only because I was called down here by my father.





VALERIE

(sits back in the chair) Wait he’s here? I’ve been trying to call him for the longest.





CHARLIE

(nods and enters the office. He sits down on a chair across from Valerie’s desk. He had a somber expression on his face.) Listen, I’m here because...it has come to our attention that some readers aren’t too happy with your articles.





VALERIE

(rolls her eyebrows) It’s those Goddamn Feminist Liberals again isn’t it?





CHARLIE

L-look Valerie. According to the complaints we have received, it seems you have been giving sexist advice to readers and the Masculinists have decided to boycott the paper until we fix the problem.





VALERIE

(trying her hardest not to laugh or yell, she calms herself down by taking in a deep breath) Okay, I don’t even know where to start…Masculinists?





CHARLIE

Believe you me, I had no idea they were real people. But apparently this group has many connections to the paper and my father cannot have this kind of publicity.





VALERIE

So what are you saying? Are you going to fire me because a group of Wall Street guys with tiny Dicks carrying Tiki torches are offended by my column?





CHARLIE

(shakes his head quickly) No! I would never fire you. It’s just…my father and I spoke about an alternative that will make everyone happy without alienating anyone.





VALERIE

(crosses her arms across her chest) I’m listening.





CHARLIE

(he clears his throat again and nods) O-okay, we came up with the idea…that you will have a...um…cowriter.





VALERIE

(stands up to her feet quickly) WHAT?!





CHARLIE

(nervously) It will give balance to your column.





VALERIE

It will also turn ‘Ask Val’ into some P.C crap! Is this what you want?





CHARLIE

It isn’t what I want, but my father owns the Tribune and this was his final decision. Your coworker will start next Monday. (gets up from the chair)





VALERIE

(gasps angrily) I am not changing the name of my column which I had for a decade! You are not going to turn ‘Ask Val’ into ‘Ask Val & Dick’!





CHARLIE

Well actually, the name of the writer my dad hired is also named Val, so the column will retain its name.





VALERIE

(quickly) Get out.





CHARLIE nods his head and he quickly leaves the office not wanting to waste another second with VALERIE who was visibly angry.



VALERIE runs her fingers through her hair and walks back over to the office chair.



LINDSAY (OFF SCREEN)

Knock, Knock!



VALERIE looks toward the door to find LINDSAY KAINE smiling and entering the office holding a manilla envelope in her hands.





VALERIE

(sighs and sits down on the chair) Please, make this conversation quick I am not in the mood.





LINDSAY

‘Quick’ is what they used to call me back in high school. (sits on the chair facing Valerie’s desk) Okay so I was in the neighborhood and I wanted to talk to you because, well… I’m going to Mexico.





VALERIE

(dryly) Glad to see you have dreams.





LINDSAY

(ecstatically) Oh I do! But it’s not for some shopping spree at Prada. No Dahling, it’s actually for a special trip I have planned with a man I’m seeing. We threw around a few ideas and we came upon Mexico!



VALERIE

(rubbing her forehead in frustration) Is that all? Are you seriously here to rub that in my face?





LINDSAY

Of course not! What type of girl do you think I am? I was telling you this because- (pauses) You’re going to give me $30,000.





A few seconds pass and VALERIE bursts out into laughter as LINDSAY stares at her.





VALERIE

(wiping her eyes) Oh, sweety thank you so much for that laugh. I really needed it. Now please, I need to get back to work.





LINDSAY opens the manilla envelope and takes out a sheet of paper. She slams the paper on VALERIE’s desk.



VALERIE looks at the paper and her smile quickly fades from her face. She now looked worried and confused.





VALERIE (CONT’D)

(slowly looks at Lindsay) Wh-where did you get this?





LINDSAY

Does it really matter Dahling? The point is I have the information and if you don’t give me the money I need- (smirks)- I will make sure to give this information to one of your coworkers and you can only imagine the damage this will do to you being on tomorrow’s front page.





VALERIE

(nervously) Extortion? I thought that was beneath you.





LINDSAY

Oh don’t worry this is just the beginning. I haven’t even touched on the fact you’re the Mistress to the top lawyer in New York City. (beat) Is it possible you can make that check out to me before 2pm? I have to get a mani-pedi before my flight takes off.



VALERIE glares at LINDSAY.



LINDSAY gives her a wink and smiles sitting back down on the chair.







cuts to:

SCENE 2

INT- BUILDING OF NBZ STUDIOS- HALLWAY





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

One thing that I’ve always admired about Elias, is the fact he believes everything happens for a reason. Because to him that thinking makes everything in life seem reasonable. But he’s about to find out, if there is any truth to that belief.





We watch as ELIAS walks down the hallway passing by an office where inside was GREGGORY typing away. He pauses realizing the man was still in his office, a fact that surprised him as most of the writers took the day off and it was strictly a day for the actors to do their costume fittings.



ELIAS lets out a deep sigh gathering his thoughts and he turns around and enters the office.





elias

Do you have a personal problem with me?





GREGgORY

(looks up from his computer and takes off his glasses) I’m sorry?





ELIAS

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the countless reasons as to why you would want to fire me and kill off such an amazing character. Then I realized it must be a personal issue you have with me. But then I thought that couldn’t be true as I’m the nicest actor on this whole damn set!





gREGgORY

(completely calm throughout Elias’ rant) Do I have a problem with you? No. Do I have a problem with this show? Never. Do I have a problem with this show being overrun by Liberal Propaganda? Hell yes!





elias

(confusingly) Huh?





GREGgORY

(places his glasses on the desk and leans back in his chair) For years, I have watched this show grow from being an honest and entertaining soap opera with wholesome and traditional beliefs and now it’s filled with lines bashing our President and even spreading the Gay Agenda.





ELIAS

(baffled) I am so sick of hearing about this ‘Gay Agenda’. Newsflash! There is no one trying to turn Straight people and children Gay. We are people who want to walk down the street holding our significant other’s hand without being afraid of getting verbally or physically abused for it!





GREGgORY

Oh please! All you people do is parade through the streets holding Rainbow flags and forcing your lifestyle down our throats, and if we don’t accept you; then we’re seen as being bigots and homophobes.





ELIAS

So your solution is to alienate the LGBTQ fans who have supported not only this show since day one, but also me?





greggory

You say ‘Alienate’ and I say…disavow. (shrugs) Call it want you want, but now that I’m the head writer here, things are going to change. If we drop in ratings because we’re getting rid of the abominations, then so be it. I’m working on a deal as we speak for sponsors who are firm believers in Traditional Family Values. So screw what people think.





ELIAS

You are a despicable excuse for a human being.





GREGgORY

And you’re just a Faggot who will screw with a man, develop AIDS and then drop dead right after.





ELIAS

(angrily) Why don’t you drop dead?



GREGGORY’s eyes widen as he clenches the left side of his chest and slumps over on his desk, dead.



ELIAS pauses and he quickly walks over to GREGGORY and places both his index and middle fingers of his right hand on GREGGORY’s neck to feel his pulse. He feels nothing.





ELIAS

(gasps) Oh crap!





CUTS TO:

INT-4TH FLOOR HALLWAY OF GLADEN FALLS- 4 MINUTES LATER



We watch as ELIZABETH walks up the last step talking on her cellphone.





ELIZABETH

(on the phone) Elias slow down. What happened?....Wait he just dropped dead right there?...Oh honey you didn’t kill him…I know it sounds weird but sometimes our hearts just give out…Look just don’t blame yourself.





LINDSAY walks out of APARTMENT 4D and locks it behind her.

ELIZABETH spots her.





ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

Elias, I’m going to have to call you back.





ELIZABETH hangs up her cellphone and approaches LINDSAY.





ELIZABETH

(to Lindsay) You and I need to speak, now!





LINDSAY rolls her eyes at ELIZABETH and lets out a frustrated sigh.



FADE OUT.





ACT 4

FADE IN

INT-ELIZABETH’S APARTMENT



ELIZABETH opens the door and LINDSAY walks in irritated and already bored.





LINDSAY

Can we make this conversation quick? I have a few clients to attend to before I take a business trip.





ELIZABETH

(follows in and closes the apartment door; turns to face Lindsay) What is your end game?





LINDSAY

(turns to Elizabeth) In life or this dreadful conversation?





ELIZABETH

With Derick.





LINDSAY

(smirks and places her hands on her hips) Are you still mad about that? Last time I checked, you didn’t want him. Hence the reason you filed for divorce.





elizabeth

A divorce you want him to stop.





LINDSAY

Yes and that is solely based on the fact this divorce can burden his career. Trust me, if I had my way your divorce would’ve happened ages ago.





ELIZABETH

(shakes her head doing everything in her power to remain calm) Y-You don’t see anything wrong with what you’re doing? You’re my best friend! I grew up with you. My parents took you in as their daughter and I’ve accepted you as a sister.





LINDSAY

Oh please! (rolls her eyes) Go play your pathetic violin somewhere else.





elizabeth

(sadly) Why are you doing this to me?





LINDSAY

This has nothing to do with you. Shocking to believe I know. Derick and I are not just some love smitten Romeo and Juliet story. He and I have been seeing each other for years now.





ELIZABETH lets out a silent gasp as if a dagger just stabbed her heart.





ELIZABETH

D-did you just say you two were together for…um-





LINDSAY

(snaps her fingers impatiently) For years now. Dahling, please keep up. Incompetence isn’t attractive on you.





ELIZABETH

Do you even know what you’ve done and how all of this affects not only me but our friendship?





LINDSAY

(giggles) Friendship? That’s grand. Especially coming from you. Need I remind you, what happened to you and I four years ago? You know, before you, ‘Fag Fairy’ and ‘Grandma Advice Columnist’ became close friends?





ELIZABETH

(softly) You said you were never going to bring that up again.





LINDSAY

There are a lot of things I say Dahling, get used to it.





ELIZABETH

So that’s it? You’re just going to throw away everything you and I had…for a man?





LINDSAY

You’re making it sound like we had something important. (beat) He and I love each other. We’ve always had. The fact he decided to marry you is…pathetic frankly. But that’s Derick. He’s always a sucker for charity.





ELIZABETH

(angry yet still doing everything in her power to contain it) You honestly think I won’t tell the judge during our divorce hearing about you and him being together while we were married? You are an idiot.





LINDSAY

(smirks and nods) I’ve thought about that. But you wouldn’t be that stupid to spill the beans on him and I. Considering that huge secret you never told him about. I mean, can you imagine how he would react once I tell him? (smiles wide) Because I can.





ELIZABETH’s anger diminishes and her facial expression is filled with shock.



LINDSAY smirks and she slowly approaches ELIZABETH showing that she held the power now.







LINDSAY (CONT’D)

Once he knows, he will take you for every penny you’re worth. Not only will you be penniless but your reputation will be gone as well. (beat) Now, if you don’t mind I have a few things I must pick up for my little trip.





LINDSAY walks over to the apartment door, opens it and she looks over her right shoulder to have the last word.





LINDSAY

Oh by the way, I have no idea why you said he was a minute man…he can go all night long. (waves) Toodles!





LINDSAY exits.





ELIZABETH grabs a champagne bottle from her coffee table and flings it at the door letting out a frustrated scream.









CUTS TO:



SCENE 2

INT-THE NEW YORK CITY TRIBUNE- AN HOUR LATER



We watch as VALERIE walks down the hallway of the Tribune holding a cup of coffee in her right hand. It was evident by her face that she was distracted but she had to put on a brave face for her coworkers.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

While I had to clean up the mess I made, Valerie was going to wish she had some champagne in her system…or maybe the bottle handy.





DAPHNE JONES walks out of the ‘Editor-In-Chief’s’ office and lets out a sarcastic gasp as she spots VALERIE.





DAPHNE

(in faux shock) Oh my Goddess! Is that Valerie Blake? The Valerie Blake?!





VALERIE

(rolls her eyes) Am I ever going to stop hearing that come out of your mouth?





DAPHNE

Nope, but it’s fun. Then again, who knew you would become so…so famous?





VALERIE

(aside) Apparently not you.





DAPHNE

I mean, first you were an intern at my father’s paper and then you managed to make something out of yourself…so… quickly.





VALERIE

It took me literally five years from quitting your sad little family tabloid business, to get into a college that was affordable and wouldn’t leave me in debt. After I got my Associates, Bachelors and Masters in Journalism, I decided to branch out and create my own column.





daphne

Yeah is it really an accomplishment? I mean, the Tribune is owned by someone else and not you.





VALERIE

(sighs deeply) Are you done yet? If you haven’t noticed I’m very busy.





DAPHNE

Doing what exactly? Giving advice to sad pathetic people whose lives are a lot better than yours? I mean, you’re single and constantly have to go home to an empty house. How do you sleep at night? If that was me I’d just…(smirks)kill myself.





VALERIE

(smirks) I sleep very well and for your information, I do have a boyfriend.





DAPHNE

Really? I haven’t met him at any of the office parties.





VALERIE

Well that’s because he’s very shy and he isn’t much for socializing. Besides I have to charge him every three hours or else he’ll end up dying.





DAPHNE

(lets out a disgusted gasp) Ugh you are disgusting!





VALERIE opens her mouth to speak but she is interrupted when DAPHNE’s demeanor changes from a ‘Mean Girl’ to a ‘Sweet Girl’.



We are re-introduced to BURT who walks in.







BURT

Hey Sunshine!



BURT walks over to DAPHNE and kisses her softly on the lips as VALERIE watches.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

Karma, isn’t she a bitch?





daphne

(to Burt) Hey hubby. I was just telling Val here, that she should settle down with someone. Being single in 2017 is just sad. It’s like…well it’s like wearing socks with sandals.





BURT

(smiles and looks at Valerie) Don’t listen to her. She’s just a hopeless romantic and believes her ancestors were Cupid.





VALERIE

(to Burt) It’s okay. It’s very evident that Daphne knows all about love.





DAPHNE

(nods frantically) Oh I do! As you can see- (she holds Derick’s hand in hers)- Burt has amazing taste in women.





VALERIE

(smirking) Oh I can definitely know that.





DERICK smiles blushing and he looks down at his feet.







CUTS TO:



SCENE 3

INT- BACK AT GLADEN FALLS BUILDING- EVENING- SIX HOURS LATER



VALERIE walks up the stairs of the building tired, frustrated, annoyed and bored. As she makes it up the last step of the 4th floor, she sees ELIAS lying face up on the ground.





VALERIE

(gasps) Elias? (she runs over to him) Elias?!



ELIAS

(depressed) Life is weird.





VALERIE lets out a sigh of relief as she thought he was dead.





VALERIE

Sweety, why are you on the floor? It’s dirty. I don’t think Ami has cleaned this since…well forever.





VALERIE helps ELIAS sit up and he leans back against the wall still seated on the floor.





ELIAS

I killed a man today.





VALERIE unwillingly sits down next to ELIAS and looks at him in concern.





VALERIE

(slowly; worried) What are you talking about?





ELIAS

I confronted Greggory about killing off my character and we got into a little argument. I told him to drop dead. (looks at Valerie)- and he did. He just…dropped dead.





VALERIE

(pauses) I don’t think you killed him Eli.





ELIAS

Ofcourse I did! I sent that negativity to the Universe and the Universe responded by firing his rainbow painted pistol and shot Greggory right in the heart…or whatever he had in his chest.





VALERIE

(consoles Elias by hugging him) Oh honey don’t you dare blame yourself. He was an asshole and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that assholes don’t last very long in this world.



ELIAS

(pouts) Y-You think so?





VALERIE

(nodding) Mhmmmm.





ELIAS

(pulls away from the hug and looks at Valerie) How did your day go?





VALERIE

(sighs) Well it started great. Saw that cute Wall Street Guy again at Starbucks. But then it took a weird turn when my boss told me, Masculinists are protesting my column.





ELIAS

Masculinists? Is that a thing?





VALERIE

Oh it’s a thing.





ELIAS

(shakes his head) That’s crazy. I didn’t think they read newspapers as most of them just pound away on beer and watching Lesbian Porn. (ponders)Or am I confusing them with Frat Guys?





VALERIE

Well whoever they are, now I have a cowriter coming in next week who will be the male perspective to my column. MY column, which I’ve had for more than a decade!





ELIAS

(gasps) NO!





VALERIE

So yeah. Watching your dick of a boss die in front of your eyes sounded a whole lot better than my day!





ELIAS

I know what we need!





VALERIE

An alibi?





ELIAS

No silly, a night out.





VALERIE

But we normally do that on Saturdays. Where you, me, Lindsay and Elizabeth get wasted and talk about our crappy week.





ELIAS

Well, let today be Saturday.





VALERIE

But today is Wednesday.





ELIAS

So? We clearly need this more than anything right now. I’m sure Elizabeth is also having a crappy day.





VALERIE

Highly doubtful. Miss Perfect never goes through the problems you and I do.





ELIZABETH climbs up the last step of the stairs. She was wearing clothes indicating she just came back from a jog. She was glowing with sweat; her hair was in a ponytail and covered in sweat as well. She takes out an ear bud from her ear and looks at both ELIAS and VALERIE who were sitting on the floor.





ELIZABETH

Um…what is going on?



Valerie

My column is going to have the perspective of a pathetic man.





ELIAS

I telepathically killed a man.





ELIZABETH

(nervously laughs at their words) Um, wow. It definitely sounds like we need a night out. I mean I know it’s not common to do so on a weekday, but we clearly need it.





VALERIE

(to Elizabeth) Why, what happened to you?





ELIZABETH sighs. She walks over to them and sits down on the floor.





ELIZABETH

Lindsay is Derick’s new Publicist.





VALERIE & ELIAS

WHAT!?





ELIZABETH

Oh but it gets better. You see, not only is she working for him but she’s also been sleeping with him. A fact she was very, very happy to disclose.



valerie

(shaking her head) That bitch!





ELIAS

You can never trust people with adorable accents.





elizabeth

Which is why we are going out, getting totally wasted and calling out sick tomorrow morning to sleep off the hangover. And we’re going to do so in this amazing new Gay club that just opened up down the block and-





ELIAS

(interrupting)- I wouldn’t suggest a Gay club. I can’t see my fans knowing that I’ll be filming my last episode in two days. It will be too much for me.





ELIZABETH

(nods) Understandable. Okay new plan.





VALERIE

How about Karaoke?





ELIAS

(claps his hands in excitement) Yes! Karaoke!





elizabeth

Alright, Karaoke it is. (gets up from the floor) Okay, let’s change and meet back here in ten minutes.





VALERIE and ELIAS help each other up from the floor and they nod at ELIZABETH’S plan.





VALERIE

Sounds great.





ELIAS

I’m game.





We watch as ELIAS, VALERIE and ELIZABETH go their separate ways and enter their respective apartments.



We remain looking at the empty hallway as Ten Minutes Later- appears on the screen.



ELIAS, VALERIE and ELIZABETH walk out of their apartments wearing different clothes and they meet in the hallway.





VALERIE

Now let’s show those damn Japanese businessmen that we’re better than them at singing poorly.





ELIAS

Speak for yourself! I can do a killer ‘Fast Car’ by Tracy Chapman.





ELIAS, VALERIE and ELIZABETH walk down the hallway and descend the stairs laughing and speaking amongst themselves.





CUTS TO:



SCENE 4

INT-HALLWAY OF THE 4TH FLOOR- THREE HOURS LATER {PRESENT DAY}



We return to the TEASER and watch as AMI walks up the stairs.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

Friends are hard to come by. You have to weigh out the good with the bad…very similar to dating. In dating, you have to kiss the frogs in order to find your prince or princess. Sadly, my Prince turned into a frog.





AMI walks over to APARTMENT 4A and knocks on it.





AMI

(knocking) Hello? I think you left your shirt in the drier again! I warned you and your inbred friends that if this happens again I will donate it to charity, or in your case burn it.





AMI looks down at the floor and notices a trail of blood. She follows it and it leads to another apartment.





ELIZABETH (V.O.)

To survive in a city like New York, you need to be able to make friends that are not only entertaining to be around but also trustworthy. They have to make you laugh when you want to cry, share an entire quart of Ice Cream when your ex-husband decides to cheat on you with his assistant, agent and now your best friend. You have to make sure they are able to keep your secrets, all of your secrets. The good, the bad and the ugly.





AMI slowly opens the door and a figure runs out of the apartment knocking her to the ground. A diamond earring drops to the ground and slides under the apartment door across the hall.

The figure runs down the hall and down the stairs going off-screen.





ELIZABETH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

Secrets are what unites us all. Just like hate unites bigots, blind faith unites the churches and pain unites our exes. As long as you all promise to keep those secrets, yours and theirs, nothing can go wrong.

But there are going to be people who are not capable of keeping your secrets. They will use it as a bargaining chip against you. To hurt you. To annoy you. To blackmail you in order to get what they want.

When that happens, it is evident that they broke their promise.

When a promise is broken, it is horrible and very unfortunate. It’s unfortunate because if they lied to you and crossed their heart-





AMI sits up rubbing the back of her head; she looks inside of the apartment and lets out a blood-curdling scream at what was inside.



We look in to find the bloodied body of LINDSAY KAINE staring lifelessly at AMI.





elizabeth (v.o)

-Then they have to die.





BLACK.

ELIZABETH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

That’s the law of true friendship.



END OF EPISODE 1






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