Excerpt for Samus' World: Episode 2: "Exes and Oh...Nos" by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

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The stories in this book are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, or

real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and scandals are

products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events,

places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2018 by Edwin Betancourt

Created in the United States of America

First Printing, 2018

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SAMUS’ WORLD CHARACTER LIST (in order of appearance)

  • Samus Ortiz - (Mid- Late 20’s). He is the protagonist. A writer for ‘L&G Daily’. He is openly Gay. He’s smart, sarcastic, cunning, headstrong and honest. He has a soft tenor speaking voice which he is very self-conscious about.

  • Dylan Bregar- (Late 20’s- Early 30’s). He is a Free Lance photographer who enjoys looking at the world through the lens of his camera. He is from New Jersey and that is evident by his accent. He is a mystery that not even Sherlock Holmes can solve.

  • Belky Allen- (Early 40’s- Late 50’s). He is the founder and Editor-in- Chief of ‘L&G Daily’. He is smart, headstrong and hates surprises. Although he is founded New York’s top selling LGBTQ Paper, he does not identify as LGBTQ but he is a strong ally.

  • Gustin Allen- (Late 20’s- Early 30’s). He is Belky’s only son and he is the calmer one in the family. He is the Editor of ‘L&G Daily’ and has many new ideas that could renovate L&G but his father shoots them down at every chance he gets.

  • Ursula Bextor- (Late 20’s-Early 30’s). A free spirit who wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t care who knows. She is fierce, sassy and doesn’t hold her tongue for anyone. She identifies as Pansexual but doesn’t like to label herself as anything. She is best friends with Samus and has known him since they were 3 years old. For some odd reason she speaks with an English accent and nobody knows why, since she is from Detroit.

  • Phillip Ellis- (Mid 20’s). Samus’ online date. He is tall and a bit of an emotional wreck.

  • Carlito Reyes- (Early 20’s). Samus’ foil. He was best friends with Samus until he slept with Samus’ ex Ethan, causing Samus and Ethan to break up. He is still dating Ethan. He is a contributing writer for L&G Daily’s competitor Hesh’e Magazine.

  • Parker Myers- (Mid 30’s-Early 40’s). A very handsome man who often gets called a ‘DILF’ by people and it’s a term that he hasn’t embraced because he’s shy. He is an online date for Samus.

  • Mary- (Late 50’s). An older woman who strongly believes romance is beautiful. She loves seeing two people, no matter their sexual orientation, in love.

  • Tara Angler- (Mid 20’s- Early 30’s). She is the owner of the LGBTQ club ‘Guilty Heart’ a club notorious for its ‘Speed Dating Extravaganza’, which has a proven track record of helping people finding love. She is a kid at heart and enjoys being everyone’s friend. She is in a serious relationship with Ursula. She identifies as a Lesbian and is not afraid to announce it to anyone who asks.

  • Thomas Redfield- (Late 20’s). An active gaymer with very bad manners and no self-awareness of his behavior. Another online date for Samus.

Speed Daters (In order of Appearance)

  • Greg- (Mid 20’s). A cocky Pervert who thinks his jokes are funny.

  • Matty- (20’s-30’s). Believes his best approach should be asking a Gay man their sexual position rather than introducing himself.

  • Will- (Late 20’s- Mid 30’s). Hates Effeminate Gay men.

  • Daniel- (Late 20’s). A clueless Gym Buff.

  • Doug- (Late 30’s). Just a man in need of drugs.

  • Hector- (Early 30’s) A man who wants a hookup with no strings attached.




We re-enter SAMUS’ apartment rediscovering him on the floor as the V.O. plays.


Why is it so hard to find the right partner? I mean, we can find the right song to match our mood, the right hairstyle, the right apartment, the right selfie to post online; yet when it comes to finding someone that makes us laugh, smile and feel amazing, we are all lucked out. Life is funny and a mystery.

We pan over to SAMUS’ right hand and a few inches away we see a picture of SAMUS wearing a purple hoody with a man. All that was visible was the back of the man’s head.


A mystery that once you solve better pray to Goddess, it doesn’t cost you, your life.


FOUR WEEKS EARLIER”- Appears on the screen


The NYC street wasn’t as busy or fast paced as it was a weekend and everyone was enjoying the Summer weather and the many sights NYC had to offer for the season.

SAMUS is strolling with URSULA down the block as they both held a cup of smoothie in their hands. They are clearly in no rush to get to wherever they were going.


It’s a mystery that not many people have the courage to solve. I mean, Dahling, it’s pretty obvious how to navigate through life.

Live, breathe, bathe, eat, work, have sex, drink, find love and die.


It’s a sick circle of life, if ya ask me.



Eh, you just have to keep the faith Dahling and the universe will put the pieces together for you.


I’m impatient, you know that. (Beat) How’s Tara?


(rolls her eyes)

Her dreadful mother is coming into town next month. Apparently, she wants to see if my Brownstone is appropriate for us to live in when we get married.


(He looks at her confusingly as he takes a small sip of his smoothie)

You guys are getting married?


That’s the thing! We aren’t, nor have we discussed it. I mean we’ve been dating for merely three months and we aren’t even living in the same facility. Not to mention (Pauses and lets out a deep sigh) Kyle is back in town.


(stops walking and opens his mouth to gasp)

Kyle? As in your ex-boyfriend Kyle? The one that you dumped for Tara? The one who’s heart you broke into a kabillion pieces to jump into the pond where you are now dating women?


(Stops walking as well and giggles nodding her head waiting for him to finish)

Yes! And for the record, he wasn’t that heartbroken. He survived and we still chat every night on Facebook.

SAMUS takes another sip of his smoothie and he starts to walk again causing URSULA to do the same thing.


I don’t know how you can do it. I can’t be friends with my ex-especially since that bastard cheated on me. I mean, can exes even be friends?


Not all exes hold grudges Sam-Sam. Many can actually be friends with each other. Like Ben Affleck with Jennifer Lopez and Garner. Taylor Swift with Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, Harry Styles, John Mayer and Loki!


I don’t know. It seems weird to me. Exes are like damaged shoes. Once you have worn them out and you can’t repair them, throw them away! Don’t put them back on and walk through broken glass wearing them.


I guess it really depends just how you ended things. All I know is that Kyle and I are great friends and Tara doesn’t mind.


Props to Tara. She’s a good one. Ugh! (Beat) Why are Lesbians so sweet, kind, humble and romantic?


(shrugs smiling)

I guess we’re just amazing people. Goddess made us in her image. (She nudges Samus and laughs as they continue walking)


Blah blah blah!

URSULA and SAMUS continue to walk and Man #1 (Mid 20’s and attractive), very attractive, tall, wearing a tank top) stops in front of them.

URSULA and SAMUS stop walking and they look at him.

MAN #1

I’m sorry to interrupt, I’m heading to a party for a friend and-I’m lost. He texted me this address and I have no idea where I’m going. (To Samus) Can you help me?

MAN#1 takes out his phone and hands it to SAMUS.

Unfortunately SAMUS looks down at his feet slowly taking another sip of the smoothie. URSULA notices what SAMUS was doing and she takes the phone smiling.


(reads the screen)

Oh Dahling, you are way off. You need to take the 4 train downtown and you’re going to get off on 149 street Grand Concourse.

URSULA hands the phone back to MAN#1 and he smiles thanking her. He looks at SAMUS and gives him a smile but SAMUS looks away avoiding eye contact.

MAN #1

(turns once again to Ursula smiling and takes back his phone) Thank you so much!


Of course! Have fun at the party, don’t drink too much.

MAN#1 nods and waves at URSULA as he leaves and SAMUS clears his throat. He looks at URSULA.


Okey dokey. So where were we? (pauses) Ah yes! You shouldn’t be friends with your ex.


(looks at Samus smirking)

Um Dahling... What was that?


(Completely lost)

What was what?


That guy was totally checking you out and you were ignoring him as if he was a Republican in a Gay club.


(In denial)

Pfft! No he wasn’t! He was just lost and looking for directions.


Oh Bloody Hell! Are all you Americans so dense? (shakes her head) He was hoping to speak to you. It’s very romantic yet a cliché, but a Bloody good ice breaker.


First off, you were born and raised in Detroit. I have no idea where the hell you picked up that English accent.

Secondly, he was probably into the idea of being with me. Once he hears me speak, he’s going to do what every guy does and run away, like Hollywood running away from originality.


Whether you like it or not Sam-Sam, this is your voice. There is no changing it and I don’t think you should ever feel bad about it. I love how your voice sounds and you should too.


Of course I do. It’s just most men don’t. You know how it is. (Lowers his voice to mimic a masculine man) ‘I’m a Masc looking for another Masc brah and if I wanted to date a girl I would. Ya heard?’



Ewww, those men are gross! Which is why I’m dating a girl now.


Yeah I can’t do that.

URSULA and SAMUS continue walking through the NYC neighborhood together still at a casual pace.


So any plans for tonight?


Yeppies. I have a date with this guy I matched with on Grindate.


Isn’t that the app married men on the Downlow use to hook up?


Oh no, that’s Grindr you’re thinking about. No, Grindate is an app for strictly monogamous men to find a soul mate.


Ooh I see now. (nods her head) Dahling, let’s go get some sushi I’m completely famished.


How can you eat so much? We just had a hotdog ten minutes ago.


(shrugs and flips her hair back mimicking a high school popular girl)

Guess I was born that way.



Minus the accent.

URSULA playfully gasps and nudges SAMUS and they continue walking down the street laughing and chatting inaudibly.



DATE #2: PHILLIP ELLIS- Appears on the screen

SAMUS walks into the park looking around for his date. The evening brought about many people to the park as well as musicians taking any opportunity to practice their talents.

SAMUS didn’t see his date amongst the crowd so he decides to sit down on an empty bench and wait.

We watch as PHILLIP ELLIS walks in from the opposite entrance of the park. He spots SAMUS sitting down and decides to quietly walk over to him and waits until he isn’t paying attention and he jumps out scaring SAMUS.


(flinches and holds his chest)

Who the hell are you Ellen?! You scared the crap out of me!


(laughs clapping his hands together)

I’m sorry man! I just couldn’t resist.

PHILLIP sits down next to SAMUS on the bench and hugs him. After a few seconds PHILLIP lets go of SAMUS and leans back on the bench looking at him.


It’s great to finally meet you.


Likewise! You got here pretty fast you live nearby?


(nodding) Yessir! I live a few blocks from here and strangely I work in Brooklyn. But thankfully I called in sick and tomorrow I’m off, so I’m beyond thrilled.


That sounds like a relaxing time. I wish I can just call in sick like that. But my boss lives in the same building as me and he would have a fit if I stood home. I like to think they can’t function without me. (smiles)


A man of authority? Could you be any hotter?



I could be but then I would melt the world.


That is true and the last time I checked I enjoy the world for what it i—

PHILLIP looks over to his right and sees a man walking towards them. He quickly grabs SAMUS and kisses his lips passionately; this action causes SAMUS to flare his hands in the air as if he was drowning in a pool. As we watch this happen the VO plays.


Yep another kiss and this time there is no magic. (pauses) Oh God, did Dylan break me?!

PHILLIP opens his eyes during the kiss and watches as the young man he was trying to make jealous, passes them by. SAMUS gently pushes PHILLIP off of him.


Phillip,, I think you are very cute I do. But I’m just not interested in going straight into making out before I get to know you.


(stands up and watches the man)

Dammit! He was supposed to get jealous!


(looks at Phillip and then at the man who was long gone. He rises to his feet, angry and in shock)

You kissed me to make some guy jealous?


Well clearly it didn’t work. If it did I would be heading home for some good make up sex.



You tall and gorgeous Jerkwad! You were using me this whole time to get back at your ex!


(Turns to Samus) Yes I was alright!? I needed to be seen so that Eric-my ex- could find me with you and then get super jealous. His jealous rage, would cause us to argue but then he would realize that he still loves me and BLAMMO! He would be back at my place, legs in the air, screaming my name out.


That is oddly specific as well as insulting. (Beat) I am not some guy you could just use to get your ex back! I am a human being, not some ‘Flavor of the Hour’! If you want to get your ex back, then I advise you to do what any decent person would do and go talk to him.


I can’t! I screwed up pretty bad. (sits back down on the bench and buries his face in his hands)I’m a loser! A stupid, stupid loser!



Oh there’s no fighting you on that. (He sighs and sits next to Phillip) What did you do that made him...dump you?


(looks at Samus)

I…I had sex with his roommate without him there.


(stares at Phillip for a mere 30 seconds)

I’m sorry you did what, without whom there?


Eric and I are-were- in an open relationship. We would only hookup with someone together. We never played with anyone else alone. It was against our unity.


So you hooked up with Eric’s roommate, while Eric wasn’t there? Eric found you, dumped you and now he hates you?


Yes!(cries into his hands comically)I’m an idiot!


(gently rubs Phillip’s back trying to console him as he looks at everyone watching them.)

There, There. It’s going to be okay. He will totally forgive you in time. I just think, right now he needs some space. Once he realizes you are the best thing to um...ever happen to him. He’ll come around and call you.


(lifts his head up and looks at Samus)

Y-you think so?



Sure yeah.(pauses)Yeah sure.


You’re right. But I’m impatient. I need Eric. (He jumps up to his feet and runs through the crowd) ERIC! ERIC! ERIIIIIIIIICCCC!!!!!!!

SAMUS watches as PHILLIP runs away and he sighs to himself looking around embarrassed.


MMkay, that wasn’t strange.

SAMUS gets up from the bench and walks out of the park shaking his head in disbelief. We watch as he walks out and the VO plays.


Another date down and I’m pretty sure a second date wasn’t going to happen. I sure hope Phillip doesn’t call me when he and Eric get back together because I don’t do threesomes and I certainly don’t hookup with men in open relationships.

I’m not judging at all, trust me. I just don’t like to share. I’m selfish.

Well, one date down and a few more to go, so what is my objective since this date was a bust?

I’m soo going to eat a slice of cheesecake and watch some Charmed reruns.

There’s no harm in doing that, right?


PRESENT DAY”- Appears on the screen.


BELKY ALLEN walks up the stairs speaking on his cellphone.


(speaking on the phone) I know what you mean!..I do but you need to understand that we already gave the okay for the article to be published online…No I don’t care how he feels about it..Again I don’t care! He was interviewed by one of my best reporters, anything that he didn’t want included in the article should have been off the record…That’s not true…Emmanuel, said everything was on the record. (He approaches Samus’ door and knocks on it.) I have to go Anne, like I said, the article is going up and that’s it. Next time, make sure your client is prepped on what he should share. (He hangs up the phone and places it in his pocket. He knocks on the door again)

Samus it’s Belky, we need to talk!

BELKY continues to knock on the door. We re-enter SAMUS’ apartment and watch as SAMUS tries to speak up to signal his distress to BELKY.



H-Help me…Pl-please. Help m- (closes his eyes and falls into an unconscious state)



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