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Excerpt for Samus' World: Episode 3: "Porky" by , available in its entirety at Smashwords







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publisher/author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.


The stories in this book are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, or

real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and scandals are

products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events,

places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.


Copyright © 2018 by Edwin Betancourt


Created in the United States of America


First Printing, 2018



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SAMUS’ WORLD: THE SERIES

SEASON 1

BY

EDWIN BETANCOURT



SAMUS’ WORLD CHARACTER LIST (in order of appearance)

  • Samus Ortiz - (Mid- Late 20’s). He is the protagonist. A writer for ‘L&G Daily’. He is openly Gay. He’s smart, sarcastic, cunning, headstrong and honest. He has a soft tenor speaking voice which he is very self-conscious about.



  • Dylan Bregar- (Late 20’s- Early 30’s). He is a Free Lance photographer who enjoys looking at the world through the lens of his camera. He is from New Jersey and that is evident by his accent. He is a mystery that not even Sherlock Holmes can solve.



  • Belky Allen- (Early 40’s- Late 50’s). He is the founder and Editor-in- Chief of ‘L&G Daily’. He is smart, headstrong and hates surprises. Although he is founded New York’s top selling LGBTQ Paper, he does not identify as LGBTQ but he is a strong ally.



  • Gustin Allen- (Late 20’s- Early 30’s). He is Belky’s only son and he is the calmer one in the family. He is the Editor of ‘L&G Daily’ and has many new ideas that could renovate L&G but his father shoots them down at every chance he gets.



  • Ursula Bextor- (Late 20’s-Early 30’s). A free spirit who wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn’t care who knows. She is fierce, sassy and doesn’t hold her tongue for anyone. She identifies as Pansexual but doesn’t like to label herself as anything. She is best friends with Samus and has known him since they were 3 years old. For some odd reason she speaks with an English accent and nobody knows why, since she is from Detroit.



  • Phillip Ellis- (Mid 20’s). Samus’ online date. He is tall and a bit of an emotional wreck.



  • Carlito Reyes- (Early 20’s). Samus’ foil. He was best friends with Samus until he slept with Samus’ ex Ethan, causing Samus and Ethan to break up. He is still dating Ethan. He is a contributing writer for L&G Daily’s competitor Hesh’e Magazine.



  • Parker Myers- (Mid 30’s-Early 40’s). A very handsome man who often gets called a ‘DILF’ by people and it’s a term that he hasn’t embraced because he’s shy. He is an online date for Samus.



  • Mary- (Late 50’s). An older woman who strongly believes romance is beautiful. She loves seeing two people, no matter their sexual orientation, in love.



  • Tara Angler- (Mid 20’s- Early 30’s). She is the owner of the LGBTQ club ‘Guilty Heart’ a club notorious for its ‘Speed Dating Extravaganza’, which has a proven track record of helping people finding love. She is a kid at heart and enjoys being everyone’s friend. She is in a serious relationship with Ursula. She identifies as a Lesbian and is not afraid to announce it to anyone who asks.



  • Thomas Redfield- (Late 20’s). An active gaymer with very bad manners and no self-awareness of his behavior. Another online date for Samus.



Speed Daters (In order of Appearance)

  • Greg- (Mid 20’s). A cocky Pervert who thinks his jokes are funny.

  • Matty- (20’s-30’s). Believes his best approach should be asking a Gay man their sexual position rather than introducing himself.

  • Will- (Late 20’s- Mid 30’s). Hates Effeminate Gay men.

  • Daniel- (Late 20’s). A clueless Gym Buff.

  • Doug- (Late 30’s). Just a man in need of drugs.

  • Hector- (Early 30’s) A man who wants a hookup with no strings attached.



EPISODE 3- “PORKY”

FADE IN:

INT- SAMUS’ APARTMENT- MORNING

SAMUS opens his eyes and we discover that he is on his bed. The sun shines in through his window waking him up.

He stretches and sits up on the bed, wanting to get the day started but at the same time, he just wanted to sleep for the rest of his Saturday. We watch as he gets off the bed and walks into the bathroom, while the VO plays.



SAMUS (V.O.)

Every day we wake up in hopes of having a beautiful day. That the worries of yesterday all disappear and we tell ourselves that, ‘Today will be different’ when we all know that is a complete lie.

It’s a lie because sure the day might be new, but those same worries and problems are always there. That’s how life works; we lie to ourselves to make our day go by smoothly. Our own little Self Fulfilling Prophecy.





SAMUS walks out of the bathroom-after washing his hands of course- and he walks into the kitchen eager to make a fresh cup of coffee, when there is a KNOCK on the door. This causes SAMUS to let out a frustrated sigh. He walks over to the door slowly.





SAMUS

(Aside)

I do not have any coffee in my system to deal with whomever this is.





He opens the door and we see CARLITO REYES standing in the doorway with a smirk on his face.





SAMUS (CONT’D)

(Sighs clearly not happy to see him)

What are you doing here? Garbage pick-up isn’t until Wednesday.





CARLITO

(He smirks not letting the insult get to him.)

Funny Ortiz, if you were truly this hilarious maybe you would’ve made it far as a reporter, rather than a sad little blogger.



SAMUS

What are you doing here? I don’t have any coffee in my blood and I believe that is an argument that can get me acquitted for murder.



CARLITO

That threat again? Geez, I thought for sure you would already have done it, since you know. Your ex-boyfriend dumped you for me. (beat) Oh by the way, Ethan says ‘Hi’!





[FRAME FREEZES]



SAMUS (V.O.)

Meet Carlito Reyes. He believes he’s my arch rival because he works over at Hesh’e Magazine which is L&G Daily’s competitor; but we both know he could never reach my level. And as funny as it is, he is also the one trick pony, Ethan cheated on me with. Yes, he truly did trade down.



[FRAME RESUMES]





SAMUS

I’m going to ask again, why are you here?



CARLITO

(Clears his throat as if he had something of great importance to say) I’ve been reading your little-(he puts his fingers up making air quotes)- “column” and I must say it is very evident that you stole my idea.



SAMUS

(Chuckles at the mere thought)

That has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard! And I know dumb, I’ve interviewed Stacey Dash.



CARLITO

(angrily crosses his arms across his chest)

I am not kidding! I have been trying to pitch to my editor the idea of me giving out advice to other fags. Then you come from under me and steal it! Now I plan on suing you for everything you have!



SAMUS

Suing me? For an idea? Wow, that is a new low for you. And you know how to get low, you’re always on your knees.

(Beat) If you want to sue me for an idea then go ahead! The last time I checked, anything that had your name on it was tossed out ever since you fabricated that story about Lance Glass dating Evan Andrews. And how did that work out for you? Oh yeah! You were fired from ‘BubblePop Online!’, sued for 20k by Lance and Evan’s legal team and then you were kicked out of your luxurious Upper East Side Penthouse, like the garbage you are.

Now you want to come here and what? Hmm? Threaten to sue me for an idea which you so conveniently and ironically had? Who the hell were you going to give advice to? Future home wreckers?



CARLITO

(Opens his mouth to speak but Samus interjects quickly)



SAMUS

I don’t even care what you have to say. The thought of hearing your voice again makes me want to jump out of the window and hope to Goddess a truck runs me over!

What you can do is go back to whatever box you’re currently living in and have a nice life!





SAMUS slams the door shut leaving CARLITO dumbfounded and shocked. CARLITO takes out his cellphone and dials a number as he slowly walks over to the staircase.





DISSOLVES TO:

DATE #3: PARKER MYERS”- Appears on the screen

EXT-ON A NYC SIDEWALK-MID DAY



We find SAMUS sitting on a bench texting on his phone checking his emails. PARKER MYERS crosses the street and notices SAMUS. PARKER’s face lights up and he smiles wide as he approaches SAMUS.



PARKER

Your profile picture clearly neglected to capture your true beauty.





SAMUS

(Looking up from his phone he smiles and stands up)

Aww thank you so much, Parker. Someone is being too sweet. Any sweeter then I might get cavities.





PARKER lets out a chuckle and he opens his arms embracing SAMUS. SAMUS smiles and hugs back sniffing the older man’s cologne smiling.





PARKER

Just being honest.



SAMUS

An honest man? They still make those? You smell good what are you wearing?



PARKER

(Releases Samus and smiles at his words)

Oh no, I assure you. I am one of kind. And I’m wearing some new cologne my M- I-I mean my friend picked out for me. It’s called Lorne.



SAMUS

(nods slowly)

Ah okay.





PARKER and SAMUS begin to walk together slowly down the sidewalk.



PARKER

I have to admit, I was very nervous to ask you out. Not because you’re not attractive, because you are very cute, it’s just that-I’m a bit older than you.



SAMUS

(jokingly)

You are? I hadn’t noticed.



PARKER

(smirks and nudges Samus playfully as they continue walking down the sidewalk.) Yeah whatever. (Pauses) I just know how some young guys are when it comes to dating older men.





SAMUS

Yeah that is true but I assure you; I definitely take the cake when it comes to being different.



PARKER

I like that. Different is definitely good.





SAMUS nods agreeing with PARKER and to the surprise of both men MARY jumps in front of them holding a picnic basket in her right hand and a camera phone in her left. Both men stop walking and look at her.





MARY

(Takes a picture with her camera phone smiling)

Aww look how cute you two look. It warms my heart to see two men in love!





SAMUS and PARKER look at MARY in shock. PARKER is embarrassed and SAMUS is confused.





SAMUS

Um, excuse me Miss..can we help you with something?



MARY

(Places her hand on her chest gasping)

Miss? Oh no honey, please call me..Mom.



SAMUS

Mom?



PARKER

(embarrassed)

Mom!



SAMUS

(To Parker)

Mom?!



PARKER

(rubs his forehead in frustration)

This is Mary..(sighs) My mother.







SAMUS doesn’t know what to say or think, he smiles at MARY and she waves at him.



MARY

(Has a wide smile on her face)

I didn’t mean to intrude on your date. But once I saw that Porky-that’s his nickname- was going on a date I couldn’t believe it. It has been way too long since he ever went on one. So I logged on to his laptop and found the conversation you two had and I must say, you are very cute.



PARKER

(stunned and angry. He shakes his leg as if he was a child throwing a temper tantrum) You did what? (whines) Mom! Why are you touching my stuff?



MARY

(To Parker) Don’t you ‘mom’ me, young man. I pay the rent as well as your electricity, phone and Netflix bills. If you didn’t want me to snoop through your various social media accounts, then maybe you shouldn’t make your password ‘PorkyLovesFries’.



PARKER

(Crosses his arms across his chest as if he was a child denied a new toy)



SAMUS

I’m sorry to interrupt this erm..love fest? But what exactly is happening here?



PARKER

(shakes his head feeling embarrassed)

I am so sorry Samus.



MARY

(claps her hands together happily)

Your name is Samus? That is such a beautiful name! Did you know it’s also the same name as the Third Macedonian poet? It’s also the female variant of Sheamus, so I can tell; you’re going to be the Bottom.



PARKER

(shocked)

Mom!





SAMUS

(Aside)

I need a drink.



MARY

Oh hush Porky! I know what you guys do in the bedroom. I’ve watched ‘OZ’ and ‘Queer As Folk’. (To Samus) I used to watch ‘Looking’ but that fellah with the Dumbo ears was soooo annoying.



SAMUS

(nods smiling nervously)

Mhmm!



PARKER

Mom I am begging you to just stop.



MARY

(lifts her hands up in defeat)

Okay, Okay. (Remembers the basket she had in her hand) Oh I totally forgot! I prepared a basket for you boys.



SAMUS

That’s so sweet of you, Mary-



MARY

Call me mom.



SAMUS

(aside)

Not gonna happen. (Smiles) Again that was so sweet of you, it was, but we were just going to check out this new Vegan restaurant down the street.



MARY

Oh. (surprised) You’re a Vegan?



SAMUS

(shakes his head)

Not at all. I just like to try new foods.



MARY

I was about to say. (smiles) With a juicy booty like that you are faaar from Vegan.





SAMUS bites his bottom lip trying to hold onto his thoughts not let them slip from his mouth and he gave the woman a smile.





PARKER

Okay mom! You need to go home now. You are being crude and disrespectful.



MARY

Fine I’ll go. But not without giving you boys this basket first.



PARKER

Just like Samus said, we’re going to get something to eat.



MARY

This isn’t food silly. (Holds the basket up to them) It’s filled with condoms, lube, edible lube, the first two seasons of ‘Glee’-which were the only seasons worth watching and a CD of me singing show tunes. I know how you gays love your show tunes.



SAMUS

(aside)

Hello Stereotypes.





MARY hands SAMUS the basket and he takes it. His eyes widen as he feels it vibrate in his hand and he looks at her.





SAMUS

Why is it vibrating?!



MARY

(winks)

Oh you know why. And I’ve included extra Double A batteries. They’re Duracell (winks), so you know they’ll last longer.







PARKER snatches the basket away from SAMUS and looks at his mother. We focus on the conversation PARKER and MARY are about to have.



PARKER

(Faces his mother)

You have embarrassed me for the last time! You are going to take this basket and go home! No ‘ands, ifs or buts’!



MARY

I’m sorry if I got super stoked to see you finally getting back out there after all these months of you whining and complaining that no one likes you.



PARKER

And how are you making that better now? You’re sabotaging what would be an amazing date with your shenanigans. You’re scaring Samus away! Now apologize to him and go home.



MARY

(Nodding)

You’re right Porky. I’m truly sorry that wasn’t my intention. And Samus I-





MARY and PARKER turn to face SAMUS but they realize he is no longer there. He snuck away while they were arguing. They are both upset and shocked to see he was gone.





PARKER

Dammit, Mom! I really liked that one!





CUTS TO:

Just around the corner SAMUS is seen speed walking through the crowds of people getting away from the chaos that was PARKER and MARY. As he safely crosses the street the V.O plays.





SAMUS (V.O.)

Well that was definitely interesting. It’s crazy what you find online and even crazier whom you find online. But the journey makes it all worthwhile in the end. After all, what is a story without twists and turns along the way?





DISSOLVES TO:

THREE WEEKS LATER (PRESENT DAY)” – Appears on the Screen



INT- SAMUS’ APARTMENT HALLWAY-MID DAY

BELKY knocks on the door one last time before he grows upset and decides to go upstairs angrily mumbling to himself. As he goes upstairs stomping, URSULA walks up the stairs from the lower floor talking on her cellphone.



URSULA

(into the phone)

I know Dahling……Exactly why I’m going to ask Samus if he can cat sit Ariel…….Oh please, she loves him…….I believe he is allergic to cats but he’ll be fine…….(giggles)Exactly! I want this weekend to be amazing and none of us having to worry about the cat………Okay well I’m here now. I’ll talk to you later. (hangs up the phone and knocks on the door) Dahling, it’s Ursula!





URSULA knocks on the door again and decides to turn the doorknob. The door unlocks easily and she shakes her head opening the door wider.





URSULA (CONT’D)

Dahling, I’ve told you plenty of times that you cannot leave your door open. You may live in Manhattan but the psychos are still out there.





We watch as URSULA enters the apartment closing the door behind her. The sound of URSULA’S heels can be heard from the other side of the door. Within thirty seconds we hear URSULA scream.





URSULA (O.S.)

Oh my goddess! SAMUS?! SAMUS! SOMEONE HELLLP!!!!!







BLACK.



END OF EPISODE




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