Excerpt for Trouble (Gay Short Story) by , available in its entirety at Smashwords


Beckett Swift

Ebook Edition

Revised 2018

Copyright 2016 Beckett Swift

Author's note: All characters depicted in this work of fiction are 18 years of age or older.

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The moment I saw Taylor, I sensed that something would happen sooner rather than an unexpected future time. I was dating his sister Chloe and we were having a great time but her brother who came in and out of their home, school or popular joints that we frequented was always a commanding presence. He was usually polite to me and made ‘small talk’ and then off he would go with his surf buddies or girlfriend. I think he had several girls he was friendly with and dated some regularly. His life, like mine, rotated around surfing, beach parties and more surfing!

I am not sure whether it was his blonde hair falling all over his face or his steely blue eyes or his perfectly built body or a combination of these features that got me attracted to him. He certainly was very cute. I felt guilty at times because I was having a great time with his sister who was very attractive, and I thought I was being selfish for wanting the male version too. Although we shared pleasantries, I felt that he didn’t think much of me. He was just being polite because of Chloe.

It was after a couple of months that Chloe and I each went our separate ways amicably. We didn’t jell well partly because we had different interests. Ours was a kind of puppy love. We met, fell in love then got tired of each other then moved on to new friends. She loved reading and PC games. I was into surfing and outdoor activities. We remained very good platonic friends and would still meet from time to time.

My relationships rarely lasted long. I got distracted easily. I am not sure how well to explain this. I was into fantasies of doing it in a ‘Dreamliner’, of necking with Aquaman or Wolverine or of having it out with mermaids who looked manly (they looked like cute guys in my dreams!). It was crazy stuff. Crazy because I never took drugs, yet my thoughts were always sexually fertile.

I suppose that my fantasies were so unrealistic that my real-life relationships didn’t last long (since they were not as adventurous as my fantasies!)

Being gay didn’t really matter much in Laguna Beach because everyone was open and always going around in wetsuits or board shorts and showing off half their suntanned bodies. Guys often did it with each other (when they were too drunk to feel self-conscious!) and later with girlfriends after beach parties.

We were all experimenting and did not feel comfortable with being tagged with labels. I did not feel the need to come out. I felt I was going through my self-journey and in due time I would be clear about the direction of my sexuality.

I also had issues because my parents were forever making homophobic jokes. I didn’t suffer from any angst about having bisexual emotions. The reason was that I had not yet done it with a guy. It was all done in my fantasies.

I reasoned that no one got affected by my fantasies, so it was wise to keep it as a personal secret. Even if I had come out, no one (except my parents) would have really cared one way or the other. Most people were too preoccupied with their own issues to really care (even if they found out that my fantasies were so insane!)

We young surfers often had parties on the beach and we sometimes good naturedly wrestled each other. You could always sense that some of us wanted to go further (with the horseplay) but we always put a lid on it. We only went beyond horseplay if we were all very drunk.


Taylor and I were not part of the typical Laguna crowd who lived in their mini mansions, had plastic surgeries and liposuctions in their youth to make them look perfect and were surrounded by the latest gadgets. Our parents were not well off and so we had to do odd jobs at the local deli, supermarket or MacD to make some extra money.

Although Taylor looked conservative and probably would end up being a stockbroker on Wall Street, he was at that moment a rebel. He sometimes missed school to go surfing and partied a lot on weekends.

I got to know him well because I worked at this supermarket and he had come along looking for a casual job. I knew the manager well and he often asked me to check out the new applicants. Taylor standing there outside the manager’s office looked very subdued and polite. I came up to him and he didn’t recognize me at all. I wasn’t going to remind him that I’d dated his sister. That would make him feel like I was groveling! We made small talk while he waited for the manager to interview him.

Seeing him with his blond hair and blue eyes made me feel embarrassed. I hoped he hadn’t noticed the bulge that had descended on me. I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of wanting to hold him and trying out one of my fantasies. This was puppy love and I was falling for him. He looked at me politely with those crystal blue eyes never betraying his emotions. I think he noticed the ‘hard on’ because his eyes rested on it for a few seconds, but I guess he probably thought it was a power thing since I supervised other guys and felt superior to him. I guess my imagination is running wild again!

I spoke highly of him to the manager (hoping Taylor wouldn’t mess things up) and maneuvered the roster so we would be placed on work duties together.

We got to know each other quite well. He was a great worker and followed instructions well. He smiled at customers and was always polite. The manager was very pleased with him and my star rose since I had recommended him. My fantasies rose dramatically as I dreamt of us doing it on an uninhabited island where we were stranded!

I took up surfing again because that was what Taylor was interested in. Since he liked going to the gym, I followed him there too. I also joined beach parties which he went to just so that I’d be close. We introduced each other to the kinds of music we each liked. I thought my music was cool. His was punk and rock that I often found jarring but I tolerated it. I had not wanted to assume (from his taste in music) that in bed he would be unsubtle, vigorous and uninhibited. I found this out later!

I assumed that he did not know that I had a crush on him; that I found him the cutest guy in surfboard shorts or wetsuit. Once he asked me to unzip his wet suit and my hands shook ever so slightly. He laughed as he touched my shaking hands gently.

“What’s funny?”

“Some of these dudes think we’re an item.”

‘Like we are a gay couple? Are you kidding?’ I didn’t say that aloud.

“Crazy isn’t it? I mean the things that people think.” He was looking at me very closely.

I tried to laugh as naturally as possible. I was thankful my tone didn’t sound dismissive.

“Do you sometimes wonder what it’s like, kissing a guy?” His tone was neutral and I was not sure if this was a gay baiting opener. “It must be exciting, otherwise guys wouldn’t be doing it to each other.” He was looking at me again.

I could not tell from those steely blue eyes whether he wanted me to drop a hint.

He seemed intrigued that I looked so somber. He came over suddenly and gave me a bear hug. Before I could react, he had tackled me playfully to the ground. I could feel his warm breath on my face and I had to resist the urge to kiss him.

“I wasn’t expecting a rugby tackle,” I said stupidly.

He was still on top of me and talking as if it was the most normal thing to do. “The part I find interesting is when they start exploring each other.”

“I was getting uncomfortable and he noticed. “I’m cramping your style?”

“I’m at a loss for words,” I said sincerely. He laughed heartily as he got up.

Thinking back about this incident, I now regret that I did not come out to him; to say that I liked him very much. I was too pretentious to admit to myself and to him that I was gay and I had gay feelings for him that was like a mini tsunami. I think this had something to do with the way I was raised at home. Since my parents were homophobic, I tried to be in self-denial.

On another occasion he looked at me strangely as if he too was fantasizing on what it would be like to have a relationship. Was he daring me to come out? I didn’t dare to blurt out how I felt about him if only to find that he was super hetero!

Sometimes we’d get so tired at work and have arguments, but we’d always find a way to sort it out. We often horsed around, wrestled good naturedly and unzipped each other’s wet suits. My hands always shook ever so gently, and I sometimes hated myself for this. There was never a hint of desire in any of his gestures. He loved being with me minus any sex interests, or so I thought!

Surfing helped us deal with our tensions and gave me an avenue where I could fantasize about how the waves were like my emotions just waiting to be unleashed (hopefully on him.)

We also had girlfriends and dated regularly.

But something was happening between us. Despite the barriers we put between us, we were having strong feelings for each other. We just sensed whenever we looked at each other that we wanted each other so much.

I think he was resentful that I was too pretentious. He didn’t want to just come out and say that he liked me. He wanted it to be a mutual thing.


Our night of reckoning happened at a beach party where someone either as a prank or deliberately had put some pills in the cocktail drinks. We were all so drunk and passed out after a while. I woke up in the middle of the night to see a whole bundle of bodies. Taylor was the closest. He snuggled up close to me and I could feel his super erection trying to burst through his shorts. I hesitated. He was moaning. I felt embarrassed that I had felt his hardness. My hand trembled. He whispered, “You want me?”

He unzipped. His dick which was so huge was a little over 9 inches. It sprung out like a hungry octopus. He took my head and steered his dick. I gagged at first as it was so huge for my mouth. But he rammed his dick in and pushed my head up and down. The warm wetness of my mouth seemed to motivate him because his jank burst out after what seemed like eternity. He gave a satisfied gasp. It had a metallic taste like tangy yoghurt. Still groggy he gave me a tight bear hug and went back to sleep. I woke up later in the night hearing him whisper, “I’d really like to nut you. Is that okay.” I grunted in agreement.

He was thrusting first in a gentle and then vigorous way and I was filled with pain and sheer pleasure.

Later towards dawn I felt a powerful erection coursing through me and I was pleasantly surprised that Taylor head was bobbing up and down as he took it in. His exquisite face tucked snugly between my legs and the warm wetness of his mouth excited and at the same time made me angry. I wanted to humiliate and hurt him as I took his head and shoved it up and down roughly. He didn’t seem to mind. After he finished taking in my jank he continued sleeping with my dick in his mouth.

Later he had positioned himself so that we were in a 69 position. His thighs were so massive and his balls rubbed gently against my face. The effect of his massive dick in my mouth overwhelmed me. Throughout the night he would go very hard, pump my mouth with jank and then go back to sleep groaning happily. I didn’t have enough energy to keep up.


After that night we drifted apart. I felt he had gone too far and I had not helped by playing along.

I began avoiding him or gave excuses that I was busy.

Several times he’d call me for a get together like the good old days, but I was embarrassed. I thought he had over reached. I wouldn’t have been able to handle the emotional baggage had we talked it through. I gave all sorts of excuses for avoiding him. I also didn’t like his new set of affluent friends who seemed too loud and pampered.

He wrote a cryptic FB post about a very close friend who had abandoned him and didn’t really care for him. We got to know what we were each doing through our FBs.

But Taylor would not let go of me so easily.

A couple of months later, he found me at one of the beach parties. We were both drunk. At one point I went away from the group to relieve myself and he was standing behind me.

Why, he wanted to know was I avoiding him?

He had me cornered. I was going to walk away but he came closer, “Please talk to me.”

“I’d rather not discuss it.”

“I want to discuss it,” he said. “It’s about that night, isn’t it?”

“I can’t discuss it,” I said.

“It’s just so crazy to me that in this day and age, we can’t even say that we have feelings for each other. I tried to give you hints that I loved you but you tried so hard to deny it.”

“Is that why you came on to me that night?”

“You could have resisted. You wanted it too. Why can’t we say that we like each other rather than having all these hang ups. It seems so crazy to me.”

“So much was going on inside me. I didn’t know how to handle it.” I turned and walked away slowly from him.

“Why can’t you accept that you have gay feelings?”

I hadn’t meant to sound rude but it came off that way when I turned and blurted out, “I didn’t like the way you forced me to confront my sexuality. I guess I’ll never meet up with you again.”

He held my hand firmly and wouldn’t let me leave. For some strange reason I swiped his hand away and that got him angry. The move came so suddenly that I found myself thumped on my back on the sand. He dived over me with his crystal blue eyes boring into mine and his blond hair all over his face.

“What makes you think I don’t have feelings for you?” he still sounded irritated.

Abruptly I pushed him away and dived at him. “You think you’re stronger? That you can go around spreading your jank.”

“That’s so unfair. We were so in love with each other and we were just waiting for any opportunity to hit it off.”

You overdid it back there. I was just like an object to you.”

“That’s not true. You wanted me to do it to you. You couldn’t get enough of me.”

He literally dragged me up with him. “You love me very much.” He started kissing me passionately. I liked it so much but I had to consider my dignity.

I kicked him in the groin and he yelped and fell back.

He lay very still on the sand and I was worried if I had injured him. I hovered over him. The move came so suddenly. He held my neck in a vice like grip almost choking me. “You love me so bad you want to taste me!”

I elbowed him and he released his vice like grip. I stood up and kicked him.

He hardly felt anything. “Give me all you have. After this you’re going to eff me and I’ll eff your brains out too.”

And in his eyes I realized that he knew that I had thoroughly enjoyed the sexual experience of that drunken night.

He stood up and dived at me. He unzipped and took out his thick pulsating dick which was huge. “This is just so crazy that you seem to be in denial that you have gay feelings for me.” He crammed his thick dick into my mouth. “You really want to suck this,” he said. After I had started sucking he took out his dick. “I want you to say it, otherwise I won’t trouble you again. We can each go our own way.”

“Yes please,” I said in a hoarse voice.

“He shoved it hard into my mouth. He was still angry because he held my hair rather roughly. He only relented after he had ejaculated a full load. “I was so pissed off when you just went off.”

“I loved you so much but just didn’t know how to express it. And when you came on to me that night I felt kind of violated.”

“I’m so terribly sorry,” he said remorsefully.

“I thoroughly enjoyed myself,” I said honestly.

“But you couldn’t accept that you were gay. You were in denial.”

“Yes I was in denial.”

“I guess without that drunken night thingy we’d still be in denial,” he said.

I had to admit that In his own fumbling way he had made me confront my sexuality.

We were quiet just enjoying each other’s company, then he said “Let’s go take a few waves.” He said this very gently.

In the moonlight we looked like friendly ghosts riding waves.

We were so serene and so integrated in our moves.

We were like acrobats whose every move was synchronized.

Then we went to a secluded part of the beach.

“You can be uptight sometimes,” he said. “You should have just told me you liked me,” Our tongues linked and I knew straightaway that he’d always loved me the first time he saw me; that he had been putting on an act because he was not sure of how I felt. Here we’d have a glorious time and we’d exhaust each other; effing each other’s brains out.

We were relaxed and at peace now as we hungrily explored each other’s tongues. We sixty nined each other for a very long time and just couldn’t get enough of each other’s juices. It tasted awesome. I gave him as good as he gave me.

Then I nutted him and he gave a cry that sounded like the release of his frustrations; that he was so happy he’d reached this stage.

Then he nutted me and it seemed like I was in a tsunami. The pleasure and pain came together. I collapsed in a heap on the sand.

We slept in each other’s arms on the beach until morning when we walked to my place to shower together and then looked for a drive-in place for breakfast.

We planned to go surfing after that.

I had an awesome time.

Many years have passed, and we have both moved on but I still have fond memories of that beach experience.

Taylor was my first.

We were friends without realizing that we each secretly liked each other.

Everything worked out well in the end.

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